Tonight on Lipstick Jungle, we rejoin our three heroines as they learn for once and for all that they absolutely cannot have it all. Or even a little, in fact. Disaster looms at every turn in the form of bribable nannies, picky princes, and thieving assistants. And yet, as the plot flies by fast enough to make my head spin, I'm still very much un-grabbed. Maybe it's the sometimes painful dialogue, maybe it's the sometimes painful acting, maybe it's the danger zone between tongue-in-cheek and taking itself too seriously, but Lipstick Jungle isn't nearly fun enough. Too bad...the cast, at least, definitely had potential. And the pedigree isn't something to be scoffed at, either.
In our most time-consuming plot, Wendy's former nanny has written an unflattering novel based on Wendy's life, calling her "shallow as a bedpan and twice as cold." You know, I could probably say the same about this show. Even worse, an old enemy of Wendy's is publishing the book. (Of course.) And when Wendy relates to her husband that there are anecdotes in the book that she didn't even think the nanny knew about, his absurdly overemoting face tells us that he has something to hide. At least, I think that's what he was trying to convey. It also could've been terror, shock, or possibly his "O" face.
At any rate, things continue to flow downhill when Wendy drags Shane to the possibly penitent nanny's house, and he admits to her that he told the nanny a bunch of damaging stories about Wendy's mothering skills when he was venting. Un! Comfortable! And wait, he somehow thinks that Wendy should leave it alone, since it should be enough that he and the kids know she's a wonderful mother? Um, I think it's probably still worthwhile to avoid slander and public humiliation. But that could just be me. We end with Wendy trying and failing to deliver a smackdown to her enemy publisher, which means that we're stuck with this plot for at least another week. Sigh.
In Nico-ville, she's got a prince to land. Prince William, to be specific. He's supposed to be photographed for the cover of her magazine, but is backing out. And, of course, the photographer's assistant is Nico's new boy toy. Awkward. At least, until the inevitable crazy sex in the photo studio. Which is immediately followed by the completely avoidable post-sex photo shoot. Um, what?! Why would you POSSIBLY let some guy you barely know take naked photos of you? WHY??? Sigh... As far as Prince William goes, it seems that he's really into softcore porn. Starring himself. Okay. So she lands him for the cover, but her boss isn't into the semi-nudity. It seems Nico is officially on notice. Best line, courtesy of her boss: "It doesn't take much for a halo to turn into a noose." Those are words to live by, you guys.
Victory is also having career troubles, and has been forced to fire most of her staff and move her office into her apartment. Her "loyal" assistant is taking a new job, and steals Victory's latest sketches on her way out. Which Victory somehow doesn't notice. SIGH. Later, Victory is reduced to stalking a drag queen and an old lady to get a hat she designed in fashion school, in an elaborate metaphor about how her career isn't moving forward. Don't ask. Trust me. Her rich boyfriend asked and is sorry he did. The words "live out loud" were involved. Later, though, he pays her back in full as far as clichés go. She's all, "I'm not usually the girl who needs to be saved," and he's all, "Who says I'm saving you?" Yes, really.
So, um, apologies to anyone who's getting into this show, but I'm just...not. At all. Can we transplant the entire cast into a new show, as a sort of scientific experiment? Because I really think the problem is the writing, but there's no way to know for sure, since it seems to be making the actors suck, too. Ah, wasted potential.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Lipstick Jungle: Potential is a terrible thing to waste.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Lipstick Jungle: Sex and the City...without the sex.
Following on the heels of Cashmere Mafia, Darren Star's post-Sex and the City series about four career women supporting each other through thick and thin, we have Lipstick Jungle, Candace Bushnell's post-Sex and the City series about three career women supporting each other through thick and thin. I'm actually glad things are trending this way, because I've got a great series idea about two career women supporting each other through thick and thin, called Stiletto Hailstorm. One of them will be a high-powered but sexually frustrated sports agent, and the other will be a free-spirited gallery owner who's thinking of leaving her husband...for another woman! I'm guessing CBS and Fox will get into a bidding war.
Moving on, let's meet the Lipstick ladies:
Victory (Lindsay Price): The faltering (and ironically-named) fashion designer who's suddenly dating a reclusive gazillionaire. Can she possibly have it all? (Probably not.)
Nico (Kim Raver, who was awesome on The Nine): The fashion magazine editor with a sexist boss and back-stabbing co-worker. Oh, and she's in a failing marriage with a boring professor, but having an affair with a hot young stud. Can she possibly have it all??? (Not so much.)
Wendy (Brooke Shields, wasted in this lame part): The high-powered but frazzled film executive. She's a mom, she's a wife, she's a career woman. Can she possibly have it all?!?!?!?!?!?!?! (No.)
In the first installment, Wendy has a crisis at work when she can't get Leonardo DiCaprio to sign on for a project. Luckily, she brilliantly fixes everything, though she's still got a problem with the director she "fired," since he's refusing to shut down his shoot. Which may or may not have anything to do with the fact that she hugged him while firing him. Sigh. Meanwhile, her husband is sick of being a houseboy, and of playing second banana to his well-known wife. Looks like someone's going to need the support of her two best friends to get her through this!
Nico is being held down at work by a sexist boss who thinks he can't promote someone who might start popping out babies and lose focus. The joke's on him, though, because she hasn't had sex with her husband for ages! Luckily for Nico, a steamy younger man seduces her at a party with his sexy, sexy ways. She's completely powerless once he starts calling her hot, overlooking her elderly age.
Victory's fall line has failed miserably, and her commercial partners aren't pleased. Things are looking up, though, now that she's being courted by an adorable billionaire who just happened to notice Victory at her fashion show. Victory, it should be noted, is partial to cupcakes when she's feeling down about her career. Because god knows women love their baked goods.
It should also be noted that all these women seem to inexplicably have time in the middle of their day to have champagne lunches and go street-shopping together. Um, what? I'm not a high-powered anything, but my job is demanding enough that I eat lunch at my desk almost every day. How are these women tearing themselves away for at least an hour in the middle of the workday? Maybe it really is possible to have it all...
As far as the obvious comparison goes, I haven't actually seen Cashmere Mafia, so I can't speak to the differences beyond the obvious. I'm mostly just hoping that now that all the exposition is out of the way, the show will take a much-needed turn for the interesting. Because otherwise, some mighty good actors are being wasted on some mighty weak material.
