Last time on Desperate Housewives, as you may recall, a tornado hit Wisteria Lane. Of course, you may not recall, since it feels like it aired a million years ago. Unfortunately, tonight's first-rate episode was the last one you're going to see for a while, since it was the only remaining pre-strike installment. Plus side: At least we got some post-tornado answers and closure. Minus side: We also got a big, juicy, mysterious cliffhanger. Sigh...
First things first, I suppose. The survivors: Lynette's entire family (not even Marc Cherry is that cruel), Carlos, Bob and Lee (whom I had assumed a sleep-deprived Susan killed right around the Great Fountain Brawl of '07, since we hadn't seen them in a while), and pretty much everyone else you'd expect. The not-so-lucky: Victor, Ida, Sylvia the Stalker, and the aforementioned fountain. Oh, and Carlos's accountant, Al. Ruh-roh.
Gabby: Having begun the season involved with two rich men, Gabby now finds herself much less well-off. She's been cut out of Victor's will, since his father controls the family money and was aware of the affair. In fact, he kicks her out of the funeral after threatening to tell the entire congregation that she's a "cheating, lying whore." SNAP! And I gotta say, while Dad's right that she doesn't look too broken up, he doesn't seem very upset either. Unluckily, Gabby doesn't have any better luck with Carlos's money, since the accountant is dead, and his widow shredded all the files involving off-shore accounts.
Unfortunately for Gabby, and more unfortunately for Carlos, that's far from the worst of it. Initially, they're all, "we're together for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health." And it's touching and adorable. But oh, burn, a bandaged and hospitalized Carlos hasn't told Gabby yet that he's blind. His doctor thinks Carlos should give her a little credit. Carlos: "You don't know Gabby." True that, Carlos. True that. This should be interesting.
Lynette and Mrs. McCulskey: After finding out that Ida saved her children's lives by making them take shelter under the stairs, even though there wasn't room under there for her, Lynette is determined to do right by her in death, as she didn't in life. Fun fact: Ida was a pro baseball player during WWII! Thus, Lynette saves Ida's ashes from her money-grubbing niece and nephew so that she and Mrs. McCulskey can scatter them at the baseball field, per Ida's wishes.
Of course, Lynette is involved, so it's a madcap caper in which Lynette switches Ida's ashes out with vacuum cleaner dust, breaks into the park at night, and dumps the ashes all over the field while running away from the surprisingly large security force. Mrs. McCluskey did get a chance to read a nice poem first, though, so that's something. The whole thing is a little touching, a little funny, and a little gross (ashes everywhere). And Lynette and Mrs. McCluskey get in some much-needed bonding, so all's well that ends well, I suppose. Unless you're Ida.
Bree and Susan: Bree, Orson, and baby are staying with Susan and Julie (Mike's in rehab for a month) while their house is roofless. Susan: "Please, this is what best friends do! (...Right before their friendship ends.)" Ha! But what first seems to be certain disaster turns into awesomeness for Susan and Julie as Bree cooks their meals, cleans their house, and does their laundry. Unfortunately (and I seem to be saying that a lot tonight), there's trouble on the horizon for everyone involved.
Bree's contractor, whom Bob and Lee referred her to, backs out after finding out that his ex moved in with some other guy. And contractors are understandably a rare commodity post-tornado. Thus, some gay matchmaking is necessary. Unfortunately, Walter is a three, and Bob and Lee only know nines. "And in the gay world, three doesn't go into nine." -Lee (hee!). "Well, we'll just have to find him someone who's not good at gay math." -Bree (hee!!). OH MY GOD, is she going to whore out Andrew?
Answer: YES, and it leads to the most awkward dinner party EVER. Actual line: "Oh, I can only imagine the fun you two would have in a boot shop." -Orson, after Bree mentions Walter and Andrew's shared love of boots. Once he realizes he's being set up, Andrew demands a flat screen TV in exchange for flirting with Walter to raise his self-esteem and thus get Bree's roof fixed. Julie overhears, and Susan is Not On Board--she wants Bree to stay forever, and I can see why. "I've had a taste of ironed pillowcases, and I'm NOT going back!" Man, that's like sleeping in a four-star hotel!
Thus, she sneaks downstairs and torpedoes the dinner party with remarks about Andrew's predilection for hot young guys, and his and Walter's vast age difference. After implying that people will assume Walter is "paying for it," the evening is pretty much sunk (Susan and subtlety don't exactly go hand in hand). And Bree's pissed. Susan confesses that Bree's presence is really helping her to hold things together with her pregnancy and Mike in rehab. Bree understands and offers chocolate chip cookies, and thus Bree is finally the mother to Susan that neither of them ever was to their own children. Aww.
Last but certainly not least, Katherine and Adam: Unsurprisingly to no one, Katherine hasn't quite gotten over the revelation that Adam slept with Sylvia back in Chicago. She kicks him out, but not before he finds The Note while packing up his stuff. You know, the presumably incriminating one Aunt Lily wrote while on her deathbed, which has been sitting under said deathbed, gathering dust and making us impatient, for what seems like years. Adam subsequently informs Katherine that he's leaving her, because she out-betrayed him by blaming "what happened" on her ex-husband when it was actually her fault. Blaming what?! What did the note say?? Argh!
After Adam leaves, Katherine burns the note, but Dylan overheard enough to go sifting through the fireplace ashes, and pieces together the fragments. (Least effective fire ever?) According to Mary Alice, in the note she finds the truth she's been looking for, but wishes she hadn't. What truth?! Damn you, producers! Go back to the table and negotiate now, so that we can find out what the heck happened in that house!
I guess that's it for now, folks. Sorry! It's been fun! (A lot more fun this season than in the past two seasons, specifically.)
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Desperate Housewives: Midseason Finale
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Desperate Housewives: Living Up to the Hype
The previews for this week's episode promised action, and it's action we got. Each new episode of Desperate Housewives this season seems to have more drama then the last, and tonight was no exception. Wisteria Lane's long-anticipated tornado finally hit, and it definitely did some damage. Though with destruction comes creation, and some surprising new relationships were also forged in the storm. Again, there was a lot going on tonight, so get hydrated and try to keep up!
Lynette: When the episode began, we were warned that by the end of the tornado, we would lose one husband and one friend. Was it wrong of me to sort of hope that the friend was Lynette? Her plots just reeeally haven't been doing it for me lately. At any rate, we don't lose Lynette so much as she possibly loses everyone else. After forcing herself and her family into Mrs. McCluskey's basement and releasing Ida's beloved cat into the tornado due to Tom's allergies (don't get me started), Lynette winds up waiting out the storm separately, in a bathtub with Mrs. McCluskey. When they get out after the storm, Mrs. McCluskey's house is totally destroyed. Hence the screaming we all saw in the previews. (And I have to say, I was sure that Mrs. McCluskey was going to die. They always seem to kill off Kathryn Joosten, don't they?)
Bree and Katherine: Wow. So let's see...Sylvia the Stalker apparently wasn't lying about the affair with Adam, which led to a nervous breakdown for her, a settled lawsuit for sexual harassment for him, and a much-needed fresh start in Fairfield for Katherine after she and Adam lost everything in Chicago due to the whole mess. Thus settling the Mystery of Chicago. And that is NOT something that Katherine would want to find out when trapped in a room with Adam, Bree, and Orson. Awk-ward! As for poor crazy Sylvia, she gets sucked out the front door and blown into the twister, flying cow-style. The upside: Katherine and Bree seem to emerge as friends, which should be an interesting alliance. Also? I would not want to be Adam right now. Katherine doesn't seem like the forgiving type.
Gabby: If you ask me, Gabby had the line of the season tonight. When Carlos questions her decision to pack a boa among the items she's taking to run away with him, she gives him the only possible Gabby-appropriate response: "Carlos, if you are taking me somewhere where I don't need a boa, then I don't want to go!" See, people? That's why we need writers! Of course, Edie manages to find out that Gabby and Carlos are running away, and gets ahold of the ONLY copies of the papers to allow Carlos to access his offshore accounts, leading to the riskiest catfight ever. I mean, not only are they fighting in a freaking tornado--they're fighting over a file full of papers in a freaking tornado! So yes, inevitably, the papers blow away. Less inevitably, Gabby and Edie end up waiting the storm out in a crawlspace, and actually kind of clear the air between them. Man, I was SURE that only one of those two was gonna make it out alive.
Meanwhile, Carlos finds Victor in their living room. With a gun. Craziest episode EVER, you guys! After a lovely speech about his and Gabby's eternal love, Carlos is forced to run into the tornado. Because, dangerous though high winds may be, they're preferable to gunfire. Victor follows, and they fight. In the tornado. Jesus Christ! (Incidentally, R.I.P. Ugly Gay Fountain.) And, in a violent (apparent) death so appropriate to picture-perfect Wisteria Lane, Victor is impaled by a flying piece of white picket fence, while Carlos is merely knocked out by debris.
Susan: Of all the drama tonight, this was the most upsetting storyline for me. After finding out that Orson knew of Mike's addiction before prescribing him the pills, Susan confronts him, and then Mike. Mike doesn't take it well, yelling for his pills back and only semi-accidentally pushing her down the stairs. Yikes. He does take her to the hospital, but gets so caught up in his guilt at pushing a pregnant lady down the stairs (um, YEAH, dude) that he gets into a fight with an orderly over getting her treated sooner, and winds up in cuffs. I'm glad the baby's fine, and that Susan got by with only a mildly sprained ankle (I can sympathize with that one, as a fellow sufferer these days), but that kind of violence is disturbing and unacceptable. Susan hands him an ultimatum after he starts eyeing the pain pills for her ankle. (Which I totally didn't get for a more severe sprain, so the doctors in Fairview are either pretty liberal with their medicating, or I'm really missing out right now.) He agrees to go into rehab rather than losing her and the baby. But dude, that is a scary situation.
In the aftermath, Mary Alice helpfully narrates that everyone learned a valuable lesson about friendship, forgiveness, redemption, and the fragility and unfairness of life. And, hopefully, that they should have basements or something if they live in a tornado-prone area. Because seriously? Crawlspaces and bathrooms don't really cut it. Sadly for us, tonight's drama will have to last us, because it'll be a while before we find out what happened to Lynette's family. We were promised two deaths: it seems clear that one was Victor, but the other wasn't obvious to me. And as far as I know, ABC hasn't scheduled the next episode's airtime yet. So sit tight, everyone, and try not to drown in replacement reality garbage!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Desperate Housewives: When stale isn't necessarily a bad thing
Sometimes on TV shows, you can predict what will happen almost every minute of the way, and yet still enjoy the spectacle. Tonight's episode of Desperate Housewives was one of those times. While I always enjoy being surprised, sometimes it's comforting when plots turn out to be just as scandalous as expected. And, of course, we got another taste of the Katherine/Adam mystery, which Marc Cherry is doling out in appealingly bite-sized pieces this season.
Gabby, Carlos, and the Maybe-Dead Husband: Ah, Gabby and Carlos. So marvelous in their predictability. Carlos wants to go to the police and confess what happened to Victor, and Gabby doesn't (especially after it becomes clear that the police aren't buying the whole "he was on the boat alone" story (has she never seen CSI?), so Gabby doses Carlos with sleeping pills (of course) to prevent him from talking. This is all essentially a moot point once the police find Victor. ALIVE. (Of course.) And even though I knew that Victor was going to tell Gabby that he remembered everything, despite his supposed amnesia, his little speech to her about needing to "rest up to get [his] strength back" sent chills down my spine. That dude is totally an evil mastermind, mark my words. Or rather, he's a jealous husband, and Edie is an evil mastermind. Okay, okay, between their two minds, they can muster up mastermind status. And wow, can we discuss Gabby's terrible, terrible lying skills? How has she carried on two (semi-)successful affairs?!Mike, Susan, and the Very Cute Drug Dealer: What could be more Susan than accidentally setting her daughter up with Mike's preppy drug dealer in an attempt to keep Julie away from a skeezy-looking (but probably straight-edge, knowing Julie's generally good judgment) boyfriend? And wow, this whole drug plot went through impressive levels of blackmail, even for this show! Let's count: Barrett trying to blackmail Mike into letting him see Julie, Mike blackmailing Adam into writing a prescription based on his not telling Katherine about Adam's visitor, Adam blackmailing Orson into writing Mike's prescription based on his delivering Danielle's baby... Impressive, that's all I'm sayin'. And all for naught, since Susan not only saw Mike taking pills again, but knows that Orson prescribed them. And I loved that little bit where Mike was all "Man, if some jerk hadn't run me down with his car, I never would've gotten hooked on these pills!" to Orson. Awk-ward! And also unintentional emotional blackmail to get Orson to continue writing the prescription, if you think about it...
Bree, Orson, and the Reformed Psychopath: This plot had several facets of awesomeness. First, we've got Bree going to Tom to try and solve her and Orson's, er, marital troubles. That's hilarious on a number of levels, and yet incredibly smart on a number of levels. Second, we've got a Bree Seduction Scene, which doesn't top the one where she surprised Rex at his motel, but is still pretty awesome. I mean, she surprises Orson at the office as a patient with "a cavity that needs filling." Quality stuff, that. Third, we had more Andrew than we've had in a long time! Oddly enough, he had a pretty sentimental story as he moves out into his own place (leaving Bree to her perfect little family of three), even thanking Bree for forcing him to grow up when she left him on the side of the road. So...he's not a psychopath anymore? What's going on here?! I mean, I'm happy for them and all, but...he used to be so interesting!
Lynette, Her Mom, and the Heretofore Barely-Mentioned Step-dad: Riiiight...I didn't care for this plot at ALL, so I'm going to be brief. A tearful reconciliation between Lynette, her mother, and her former step-father (played by Richard Chamberlain, who is gay in real life too, which is the only cool thing about this plot) gives us a convenient end to the "Where will my mother live?" guilt-fest. Whoop-de-do. This had better turn into something more interesting really fast, or I'm just going to start fast-forwarding through Lynette's scenes, great actress though Felicity Huffman is.
Adam, Mike, and the Mysterious Visitor: While Mike is visiting Adam, a certain Sylvia from Chicago comes a-knockin', much to Adam's dismay. Hmmm. So what do we learn? She apparently ruined his life in Chicago. According to Adam, she's an ex-patient with mental problems whose presence in Wisteria Lane would best be hidden from Katherine (good luck with that). According to Sylvia, if she and Adam had told the truth, "none of it" would have happened. She reads a little crazy, but I'm assuming she's more than your basic stalker. This could get very interesting, very fast! And yay for Nathan Fillion actually getting something to do!
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Desperate Housewives: Secrets and Lies
Well, the theme of tonight's episode of Desperate Housewives was "deception," and while that certainly held true, it seems like "deception" could be the theme of every week's episode. Just sayin'. All in all, though, a very entertaining hour of television. And as you may know, Desperate Housewives ceased production last week, so enjoy the great new episodes while they last!
In tonight's most gripping plot, Gabby and Carlos killed Victor. Maybe. By accident. To be fair, if my hypothetical husband had recently found out I was cheating on him and then took me on a boat trip alone, from a deserted marina, and asked me not to tell anyone about it, I'd probably fear for my life, too. So that accounts for the first time Gabby knocked Victor off the boat. And the second time was even more justified--dude was totally crazy, and threatening Carlos with a knife! That said, setting his boat adrift and claiming Gabby wasn't ever on it may not have been the smartest route. I may watch a bit too much CSI, but it seems to me like it would be pretty easy to tell if Victor was really alone on that boat. And the picnic, for one thing, would certainly indicate otherwise. That said, I'm assuming (knowing this show) he's not really dead. So this should get pretty interesting, pretty fast.
On the Susan end of things, I'm just glad to find out that Mike's your basic pain pill addict, rather than popping mystery pills to curb his latent homicidal tendencies, as his father's comments suggested. I loved Bree's oxymoronic strategy for dealing with an addict: "Trust, but verify." And crazily enough, I actually believed Mike for a moment when he said that the pills were to help keep him working while injured to save money for the baby. He seemed so sincere, and upset! But then, I remembered what show we were talking about, and totally called that he was going to retrieve the "discarded" pills from the sink drain. I mean, he didn't even wash 'em down with water, or anything. DUH, Susan. Your husband's a plumber.
In an impressively uncomfortable conversation, even for a dinner party at Bree's house, Bree and Orson argue about circumcising their baby (who cries a ton and is thus bright red, incidentally) in front of Mike and Susan. Um, wow. It would be really, REALLY traumatic to remember one's own circumcision--that's totally rough. But it surprises me that Orson didn't look at his own situation and worry that the same thing could happen to his baby--namely, that Bree "I Hate All Things Unsightly" Hodges would wait until the coast was clear and then get the job done, regardless of the age of the child. Of course, Bree was far more efficient than that, and even managed to pass as a Jew in order to get her son a bris, thanks to a borrowed name from Fiddler on the Roof (awesome). I liked that it led to a heartfelt conversation about what it means to be family, versus a blood relative, to this child. Of course, the conversation came a little late for his penis.
I didn't love Lynette's plot as much, perhaps because it seemed superfluous with all the other excitement about town. However, it did feature the marvelous Sarah Paulson as one of Lynette's sisters, which was pretty awesome. I have to say, while I don't miss Studio 60 at all, I do miss Sarah Paulson. 30 Rock should totally recruit her. It would be such an easy transition! Aaanyway, all the fighting over who has to live with Lynette's awful mom got rather old, though I suppose it was nice that Lynette stood up for her mom in the end. Is anyone buying that the $10,000 her mom loaned Lynette was all the money she had left? Because I'm not sure I am.
Finally, after a week off, we got new developments in the Katherine/Dylan case. I loved that Dylan, after finding out about Katherine's (apparently fake) confession about abuse at the charades party, confronted Katherine with what may be the scariest words she'd ever heard: "I am officially no longer afraid of you." Of course, Katherine succeeds in making Dylan afraid FOR her, rather than afraid OF her, with a presumably fabricated tale about Dylan's dad almost killing Katherine the night she said she was leaving him. Thus, Katherine gets Dylan to stop trying to find out about him. No new clues on what he might have done, though.
Next week: A sweeps-driven tornado hits Wisteria Lane.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Desperate Housewives: Never fear, Frankenstein is here!
Tonight on Desperate Housewives, our theme was holiday-appropriate: Fear. And the events were sweeps-appropriate: Danielle finally had her baby (or demon child, or whatever), Gabby and Carlos finally took the next step (largely unsuccessfully), and Lynette finally ended her battle with the possum in her garden. Oh, and her battle with cancer. All in all, a very eventful Halloween on Wisteria Lane.
Bob and Lee, it seems, are very into Halloween, and are looking to make friends. Um, perhaps NOT putting a giant, ugly, noisy fountain in your front yard and being jerks about it would have been easier than throwing an elaborate Halloween party for the entire neighborhood. Who am I to complain, though, when the party provides a hysterical sight: Danielle, sick of being cooped up in the house, shows up dressed as Bree! It's awesome. Until her water breaks. And hmm...she's so far along that they have to get Adam (Katherine's husband, dressed as Frankenstein) to deliver the baby at Bree's house, letting him in on their big secret. Perhaps Bree will have to help him out and keep his big Chicago secret sometime soon, eh? I actually found the scene where Danielle forced herself to give Bree her son very affecting, though I think it's debatable what the "right thing" for him would be, aside from giving him to a family that's NOT full of crazies. Just sayin'.
In my current favorite storyline, Carlos and Gabby are finally leaving their respective significant others. Edie is pissed, but not nearly as pissed as when she turns him in to the IRS, only to find that his offshore account doesn't exist anymore. Victor, for his part, doesn't even know Gabby left him. Which is kind of what happens when you leave your "I'm leaving you" message on a hotel voicemail ending with "you don't have to call me back." Gabby. (Yeah, it was just that awesome.) Victor's father, who did get the message, offers Gabby a fat payoff if she stays through the election, which Carlos sees as akin to prostitution. Which, fair enough, yo. And also, what town, exactly, is Victor mayor of that it would be a good jumping-off point to be Governor of California? Seriously, I want to know. Because that part of the plotline is unrealistic enough that it's increasingly bothering me.
Once Gabby finds out about Carlos's embezzled millions, she's thrilled, but pretty much immediately pissed she didn't get half in the divorce. Pissed enough to refuse to be with him on account of untrustworthiness, in fact. Um, crazy, and Carlos is rightly baffled. I can't decide if this was a totally unrealistic plotline, given Gabby's liberties with the truth in the past and her love of money in the present, or if it was right on, given Gabby's general instability in the past, present, and future. Probably the latter. So wow, who else totally isn't buying Victor's claim that he won't run for Governor? And hello, Gabby also totally overheard him and his dad discussing her bringing the Latino vote on their wedding day, too, so why would SHE ever buy it? However, this may all be a moot point given that Gabby and Carlos are going to be very dead, very soon now that Edie has given Victor evidence of their affair. Something tells me Victor wasn't joking around when he was talking to Carlos at the charades party.
Susan's plotline was infuriatingly dumb enough that I don't want to waste too much electronic ink on it. However, it did provide the biggest laugh of the night, so I won't ignore it altogether. During genetic counseling for their baby, Susan describes the various webbed feet and third nipples in her extended family. Mike: "Apparently, I married into carny folk." Ha! Small hands...smell like cabbage. Things quickly get serious, though, when it comes out that Mike's dad is in jail for murder, and not dead like Mike told Susan when they started dating.
Even worse: he killed a guy for no better reason than a workplace rivalry. Still worse: he doesn't feel that bad about it, leaving Susan to think her baby will be born soul-less. This all probably wasn't helped when Mike foolishly reminded her that he also killed a guy once. But oh, Susan. Given the number of spills you've probably taken during this pregnancy, I think your baby's genetic conscience is the least of your concerns. And what the heck is the deal with Mike's dad basically calling Mike a ticking time bomb of sociopathic violence due to the childhood trauma of having his dad sent to prison? (Not in so many words, but I caught the drift.) I give that out-of-character garbage a big fat whatever, and hope fervently that it won't be part of the plot.
While everyone else is out making merry and living in fear, Lynette is going crazy over a possum in her garden while she awaits the results of her PET scan. Seriously, there's an air rifle involved, and a really fake-looking dead possum. So fake, in fact, that I wonder if she accidentally killed a mutant woodchuck of some sort. Apparently, defending her homestead from a possum is necessary because you fight things that attack your home and try to destroy you. Heeeeey...it's almost like she's talking about the cancer a little! Happily, her oncologist stops by that night to let her know that's she's clear and cancer-free. Yay! Now she'll have time to ferry her kids back and forth from the therapy that will be necessary for the rest of their lives after seeing Frankenstein birth a baby. Eww.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Glowy Box Mailbag: It's back, baby!
Welcome back to the Glowy Box Mailbag! For those who don’t remember its brief existence many months ago, the Mailbag is a chance for Glowy Box to give back to you, the readers who randomly stumbled here from Google.
You see, Sitemeter gives us the referral links that brought you to Glowy Box. For Google users, this means we get to see what search term you used that led you to us, creepily enough. And it seems some Google searchers choose to actually type full questions in, instead of just keywords or search terms, as if they’re posing the questions to the Internet at Large. Which I find highly amusing. The Mailbag is all about answering those questions, because I’m nothing if not helpful, and we live to serve here at Glowy Box.
Q: What is up with the Dylan thing on Desperate Housewives
A: What IS up with the Dylan thing?! At first it seemed really important, but now it’s on the sidelines compared to whatever the heck happened in Chicago (another popular question, incidentally). We don’t know much, aside from the vague “a bad thing happened in this room” and “Dylan has no memory” stuff. But that’s not really a good answer, so I’ll start a reckless rumor: Katherine and Aunt Lily sold the real Dylan into white slavery years ago, and the current “Dylan” is an android that Katherine commissioned to deflect suspicion when they moved back to Wisteria Lane. Hence, no memory. (Yeah, I just saw Blade Runner again…what of it?)
Q: who played the earless boy on grey’s anatomy
A: Great question! That kid was all kinds of adorable and charismatic. And it’s a good thing, since trick-or-treating for ears could be seriously weird otherwise. Ryan was played by 10-year-old Dylan Minnette, who has also had parts on Saving Grace and Prison Break.
Q: WHO IS BETTINAS FATHER THE PROFESSOR
Q: why would brad womack pick bettina after her parents treated him so badly
A: Ah, a pair of Bachelor questions. If Google is to be believed, there are a lot of you out there who are curious about Bettina’s dad. According to the Washington Post, Bettina’s father is an architect in DC’s ritzy Georgetown neighborhood. According to Google, he used to be an Assistant Professor at the University of Maryland School of Architecture. And according to me, he’s kind of a jerk. As to why Brad still picked Bettina, I’d say he wanted the relationship to end on his terms, not hers. She and her family essentially rejected him, and his ego just wouldn’t let it go down like that. If you ask me, he’s keeping her around for another week so that he can reject her.
That’s all for this week…keep on Googling!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Desperate Housewives: Let's hope they never come for my pink flamingo
I'm just guessing here, but did some crazy fan kidnap the writers from season one of Desperate Housewives, keep them in a closet for a couple years, then give up trying to write the show himself and release the writers this year? Because that's kind of how it seems. And while much of the credit is obviously due to the writing (and its addition of a gay couple to the neighborhood), an equal amount should be given to Dana Delaney, who is a perfect fit for Wisteria Lane. Seriously, she has brought this show back from the brink. And tonight's episode was a great example of this season's return to form.
The biggest conflict of the week arrives in the form of a big, noisy, metal, artsy (the bad kind), expensive fountain. From Finland. In the middle of Bob and Lee's front yard. Bree's quote, I think, summed it up best: "Of all the gay men in the world, we have to get the two without taste!" I have to say, I find it a little surprising that the homeowners association had been inactive since Mary Alice's death. If there ever was a neighborhood where such an organization would thrive to an unhealthy degree, this is that neighborhood. The battle over the fountain quickly escalates, with the help of Katherine and Lynette, into a battle of fascism vs. libertarianism. And I have to say, tidy lawns and full nights of sleep are all well and good, but who picks on a tree house inhabited by the children of someone with cancer? Yeesh.
After Susan casts the tiebreaking vote for Katherine as homeowners association president, it seems a foregone conclusion that Wisteria Lane will turn into that episode of The X-Files where a monster killed anyone who didn't comply with homeowners association regulations. But interestingly, Katherine's husband points out that if times got tough, they'd want to have friends. (In the same conversation, incidentally, she vaguely references his losing control and what happened in Chicago.) Thus, Katherine goes around and makes nice to everyone, including Lynette, who calls her "one complicated lady." True that, Lynette.
When Katherine tries to make nice with Bob and Lee, though, they drop this week's big bomb: they know what she did last summer in Chicago. Or rather, what her husband did. Apparently, Bob's ex is on her husband's old hospital's board, and everyone's still talking about what happened. Katherine says that people are just telling vicious lies, but Bob and Lee, who are totally hardcore, don't give in. The fountain stays, and we're still left wondering again what, exactly, happened in Chicago. I'm hoping it's not just that he took liberties with a patient. That seems way too obvious for an OB/GYN.
In other news, I love Gabby and Carlos's plot. Which is just as much a surprise to me as it is to you, believe me. I spend the entire episode fearing that Victor's PI would find out about the affair, thus leading Victor to kill Gabby and Carlos. With the revelation that the PI was actually Edie's, I now fear that the sorry couple will suffer a fate far worse than death. Let's hope Carlos's accountant is working fast! Although this definitely gives Edie yet another avenue for blackmail, aside from the financial one. She has to know that Victor would totally destroy Carlos for this.
I also enjoyed the closure John's appearance brought. Though the "Carlos and John are the same!" anvil was dropped a little too heavily, it gave us a deeper glimpse into Carlos's mind, and allowed for that hilarious conversation in the hotel room about the sordid details of John and Gabby's affair, while Carlos hid in the closet. Finally, can we all agree that PI or no PI, the six month plan never would have worked? Given past evidence, there's no way Gabby could have gone without action for that long. Just sayin'.
Last, but not least, we have Bree's predicament. She finds out that Grandma busted Danielle out of the shockingly irresponsible convent in which she was confined, and that Danielle is now determined to stay at Grandma's retirement home and raise the baby there. I loved how Andrew set Bree straight about Danielle's true nature. I also enjoyed Bree and Orson's strategy for getting Danielle to leave Grandma. Not only did they bribe her with promises of Florida and a convertible, but they pointed out the disadvantages of living in a retirement home. Which really should have been obvious to Danielle from the get-go, but I'll cut her a break since she'd been living with nuns for the past few months.
All in all, yet another highly entertaining episode! Even if we didn't get to find out what was written in Aunt Lily's deathbed confession. I'm totally getting into this season, you guys. Totally.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Desperate Housewives: Why so crabby?
Tonight's episode of Desperate Housewives slipped a bit from last week's triumph, but certainly provided a lot for us to think about. And honestly, without Susan's plot gumming up the works, I think it would've been another great hour of television. Especially since we finally get to meet the new gay neighbors!
Bob and Lee have moved to Wisteria lane, at Bob's urging, to get away from the squalor of the big city. Sadly for Bob and Lee, they've chosen to move in next door to Susan, who goes from being weirdly enthusiastic about their being gay, to almost killing Lee with possibly nut-containing cookies, to kidnapping their dog and thus indirectly ruining Bob's $2,000 suit. It's painful and, worse, predictable to watch, and Mike is as pissed at her as I am by the end of the whole thing. Can't the writers try to not make Susan a moronic screw-up, just for one episode? I mean, she did manage to raise Julie--she must have some adult qualities, right?
On the other hand, I'm loving the whole Bree situation. Partly because Andrew's back to his trouble-making ways (inviting Rex's mom to the surprise baby shower he got everyone to throw for Bree = genius), partly because things are getting shaken up a little. But did anyone NOT call Rex's mom taking Danielle out of the convent once Bree spilled the beans? I mean, come on. So obvious. Although seriously, do people really want to parade around their great-grandchildren? I feel like that makes her seem a tad bit ancient.
Also in the "I love it" category: Gabby's crabs via Edie. GROSS. Also? Crabs are totally the funniest STD, you guys. And I couldn't stop laughing at Gabby's "hot nurse" routine as she tried to get the crabs medicine on Victor without his finding out. She really sold it, medicinal smell, stinging, lice comb, and all. And I can't wait to find out what happens next week, now that Edie has pieced together why the "new cologne" Gabby gave Victor smells straaangely familiar.
Also doing a little role play this week is Lynette, who is between rounds of chemo and feeling randy. I have to say, I'm kind of with Tom on not finding her wigless self a turn-on. I know I've said it before, but it bears repeating: that bald cap covering up all her hair makes her head look freakishly huge. Will nobody shave their head for a part anymore? Aaanyway, her efforts at branching out wig-wise, thanks to Gabby's urging, get an A for effort and a C+ for costume. I mean, Brandy the slutty redheaded cheerleader wasn't even dressed remotely like a cheerleader! However, the role play turns into a serious relationship conversation, where Tom admits to Lynette that he'd like her to be a bit more sensitive to his feelings, since her having cancer is hard on him, too. And you know, much as those two are absurd most of the time, they really do have the most mature relationship on this show (not that that's saying much). Way to talk to each other, guys. And way to coin the phrase, "cancer bitch."
And here are some additional pieces to the Mystery Room puzzle:
Mysterious! Next week, political drama on Wisteria Lane as Katherine and Lynette both run for president of...something.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Desperate Housewives: The game's the thing
Tonight's episode of Desperate Housewives was so cringy, so full of outlandish lies, so downright unbelievable that I think I can safely get 100% on board with this season. Marc Cherry and the rest of the Housewives crew owe Dana Delaney a debt of gratitude, because she's doing her darndest to drag this show straight back to up its first season heights. We've got sex scandals, pot brownies, truly mysterious mysteries, and friendships that really test the limits of the word. God, I love the suburbs. (You know, as long as I don't have to actually live in them.)
Lynette: Lynette's mom just might be the Best Ever. Though there were many great lines tonight, I think "Let Mama score you some kick-ass chronic" has to go down as the best. Although I have to say, I was pretty disappointed when Andrew Van de Kamp's long-awaited (by me, at least--he's awesome!) return to the show didn't really amount to anything. However, I will forgive this tragic underuse of a great character because Lynette's stoned charades were incredible. The highlight being pointing to Edie in the process of acting out "Hang 'em High." Awesome.
Susan: Oh, Susan. Of course you'd host the game night dreaded by all the neighbors. Of course. Is anyone else getting kind of nervous waiting for the other shoe to drop with this whole pregnancy thing? I mean, Susan said it herself: now that Mike's building the baby a crib, this thing is totally jinxed. Not to mention, I'm hearing a little too much "our child" this and "our child" that for this to actually be their child. Has it not even occurred to them that it could be Ian's, or am I just bad at math?
Bree: I find it pretty hard to believe that Bree, the most detail-oriented person in the Universe, didn't come up with a plausible OB/GYN, just in case anyone asked. I mean, even "I'm doing a home birth, without medical professionals" would have been more believable than the skid row place she accidentally sent Susan to, and would make the whole baby-switching process a lot easier when this thing finally plays out during sweeps. However, the sketchy place was pretty hilarious, so I'll give everyone involved a pass.
Gabby: Against my better judgment, I'm really enjoying this plotline. Possibly because it finally has Gabby wanting something she can't get. Between Gabby and Edie pushing Carlos as hard as they can, though, it's a wonder he hasn't snapped yet. I mean, beyond breaking a glass at a party while watching Gabby flirt with another man (he does know she goes home to her husband at night, right?). So wow, Gabby thinks Victor is cold and calculating compared to Carlos when he tries to figure out how to spin the whole underage gardener thing rather than get upset over it, but Victor is totally comfortable telling Carlos that he'd disappear anyone who messed with Gabby? She's probably be pretty into that. Oh, and I LOVED the accountant twist at the end, though I wouldn't be too broken up about it if Carlos had Edie killed after all. Still, I love it when this show can surprise me!
Central Mystery: Okay, what have we learned?
- Adam has trouble staying away from women (or at the very least, has wandering eyes), which may have somehow led to the family's hasty exit from Chicago.
- Whatever happened with Katherine's first husband, it was bad enough that letting people think he molested Dylan is preferable to their knowing the truth. Wow. Also, conversations like that one make for a reeeally uncomfortable game night.
- There's a mysterious chunk missing from the floor in the Mystery Room, which makes Katherine cry when she looks at it. Wait, did Dylan kill her father with a hatchet or something? Lizzie Borden-style?
- Julie is a total troublemaker for someone who's such a good girl, and apparently travels with her own set of lock picks. Perhaps Katherine is right to bar Dylan from hanging out with her.
Next week: The gay couple finally arrives on Wisteria Lane!
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Desperate Housewives: In with the New
It's a new season on Desperate Housewives, and you know what that means! New neighbors, with new secrets. Although in tonight's episode, which picks up one month after the season finale left off, there were more than enough secrets to go around. All in all, a pretty good start to the season, although it wasn't as engaging as the show once was. Probably because at this point, I think it's impossible for Marc Cherry to shock me anymore. Also, because the characters are largely pretty annoying and ridiculous. But hey, they still make for some relatively entertaining television, and I welcome the new blood to freshen things up a little.
The new neighbors are Katherine (played by Dana Delany), Adam, and Dylan. Katherine and Dylan, her daughter, used to live on Wisteria lane with Katherine's aunt, Mrs. Sims. After a sudden departure 12 years ago, Katherine and Dylan have returned to care for Mrs. Sims with Katherine's new husband, Adam, who is a gynecologist. Katherine, it should be noted, is awful, and highly likely to get into a catfight with Bree, hopefully sooner rather than later.
Mysteriously, Dylan can't remember anything about her time living at Wisteria Lane as a child, even her former best friend, Julie. Julie, for her part, doesn't even think Dylan is the same girl--especially after Dylan confesses that her earliest "memory" is a recurring dream about a man in her room trying to grab her, and that her mom freaked out when she asked about going into therapy for it. Oh, and Katherine won't let her live in one of the rooms in the house, because of something that happened there in the past, I think. So...either "Dylan" was kidnapped by Katherine and her first husband after the real Dylan died accidentally or something, or else some horrible traumatic thing happened and they somehow brainwashed Dylan completely. They're only back in Wisteria Lane because they had "no choice." Bananas!
Let's get caught up with the old gang, shall we?
Edie never intended to kill herself. She just hung onto the ceiling until she heard Carlos get home, and then waited for him to find her. Which he did, although not immediately. Unfortunately for Carlos, Edie's "suicide attempt" put an end to the plans he and Gabby had to run away together (on her wedding night, natch), because Carlos responds well to emotional blackmail. One month later, Edie is out of the "clinic" and back on The Lane, where she immediately busies herself nosing into Carlos's personal affairs, including his $10 million offshore bank account (which you'd think would be better hidden), so she can more literally blackmail him into staying with her. What the heck happened to Edie? She used to be so confident, and now she's just disgustingly needy and co-dependent. And also very mentally unbalanced. I guess this is what you get when you focus a maneater's attentions on just one man...yikes.
Susan senses that Mike isn't totally satisfied with married life, and only gets more worried when Adam, acting as her substitute OB-GYN, suggests that she may be starting menopause. Ouch. She freaks out, as expected. However, it turns out that it's not so much menopause. In fact, she's pregnant (insert sarcastic gasp here). And finally, Mike is happy. Susan seems happy, but she said before that she didn't want (more) kids. That's quite the change of heart. Although I guess when the alternative is menopause... Knowing this show, though, Susan and Mike can't finally settle down and have a normal, happy relationship. Thus, I'm betting the baby is Ian's. Who's with me?
Lynette is bald. And the bald cap hiding all her hair makes her head look huge. Like, alien huge. Oh, and she spends most of the episode pretending to everyone but Tom and her mother that she doesn't have cancer. Um, what? With the how? And the huh? Is that even possible? I mean, I know she slips up once and barfs in someone's purse during a school play, but it seems like you wouldn't be able to hide a month of chemo while still maintaining your normal schedule. Anyway, she reveals all in a fabulous de-wigging, but her friends are understandably upset that she'd keep something like that from them. Thus, a "no more secrets" pact is formed and broken instantaneously, because who on this show doesn't have crazy secrets?
Bree, for her part, is still pretending to be pregnant. Despite accidentally stabbing her fake belly with a barbeque fork in front of witnesses at a party. Orson tries to be the voice of reason, but she refuses to give up the charade, correctly stating that Danielle is totally incapable of raising a healthy child. Of course, by that standard, Bree's not really one to judge. However, she really wants a second (third, really) chance at it, and Orson won't deny her that. Man, if I were Bree, I would fake needing bed rest pretty darn soon, especially with a gynecologist hanging around.
Gabby is still with the Mayor, but only in body (and not much of that, either, since he's busy with work all the time). In spirit, she's waiting to run away with Carlos. It might be a long wait. But in the meantime, she and Carlos sleep together on the sly, though it seems inevitable that they'll be totally, totally busted. Probably by a homicidal Edie.
My favorite quote of the episode, by the way, was when Edie was openly discussing her "suicide attempt" with the women at a barbeque, much to their shock. "It's okay. The doctor encouraged me to talk about it." -Edie. "Surely not over food." -Bree. This show has its ups and its downs (and yes, a lot of downs lately), but it's almost worth watching for Bree's quips alone. No sign of the gay couple so far, but I kind of can't wait, if only to see how Bree reacts to them.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
ABC Gets an Early Start
Nothing wrong with a network picking up its shows early. ABC has already locked in 11 shows for next season, which means that we can cross Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy, Lost, and Desperate Housewives off our list of shows to watch out for come upfronts - if they were ever on the list, that is. And it's good news for Men in Trees fans, who I assume must exist somewhere, even though I personally have never met one (hello, MiT fan, and how are you?), because their show is coming back too. Oh, and don't worry, Liz: so is Boston Legal.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Desperate Housewives: Sabotage!
Before I get into what happened last night on Desperate Housewives, is anyone else starting to like Andrew more and more as the weeks go by? Because I totally am. Although I’m a bit confused as to how he went from wacko/sleeping with his mom’s boyfriend and getting kicked out of the house to total defender of all things Bree. Does he have an angle I don’t know about? At any rate, I completely loved his smirking “Dude, not cool” bit when Austin got busted by Lynette.
So let’s see…what do we have? On the mystery front, Orson confesses to Bree (unheard by us) about what happened the night of Monique’s death. Mike, thanks to a little hypnotherapy (how handy!), remembers that Orson was totally there the night of Monique’s death, and Mike was just an innocent plumber who happened to stumble upon the aftermath and retrieve his (apparently) bloody wrench. Mrs. Hodges traps Alma in a closet and lures Bree onto a sabotaged ladder, landing her in the hospital. Man, Orson’s mom is WAY too invested in Orson’s and Alma’s relationship.
On the cradle-robbing front, Zach gets Gabrielle’s date to call her old, and reaps the ensuing drunken rewards. Which are so far just cuddling, but promise to descend into much creepier territory next week. Ew.
On the Pizzeria of Almost-Certain Failure front, Tom proves that while he does have a bit of management sense, he’s also rather immature and in constant need of reassurance that Lynette’s not the boss of him. Dude, Lynette’s TOTALLY the boss of you. For reals.
On the awkward funerals front, Susan attends Ian’s wife’s funeral and, shockingly, manages to turn it into The Susan Show. And gets a semi-proposal out of it. FYI, Susan, Mike would never propose to you in an embalming room. A prison visiting room, maybe. But I’d take “No touching!” over dead bodies any day as far as romantic proposals go.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Desperate Housewives: Girlfriend in a Coma (I Know it’s Serious)
I unfortunately can’t write much right now, but can we discuss how entertaining Wisteria Lane is these days? Mike’s out of prison, Ian’s cheating girlfriend in a coma is dead, Zach is mad obsessed with Gabrielle, and Orson got date raped by Alma (where was his Unicorn of Rape Defense when he needed it?). Oh, and Lynette is working at Tom’s pizza place (yawn).
Oh, the intrigue! Oh, the excitement! Oh, the potential for seeing much more of Mike! Oh, the increasingly difficult job of hiding Marcia Cross’s ginormously pregnant belly! Oh, the…pizza. Yeah, okay. So it's only mostly entertaining. Still pretty damn great!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Desperate Housewives: All Bree Wanted for Christmas was a Bag of Teeth
This week's Desperate Housewives was action-packed! We've got Mike, who has met Paul in prison and realized that he is Up To No Good. The tip-off: Paul paid some dudes to beat Mike up just so Paul could jump in and save him. Sounds like somebody wants to be Mike's knight in shining armor...and reap the benefits, if you know what I mean.
Lynette, in the meantime, has taken to flashing old men in order to save her husband's business. The restaurant looks totally cute, though, so I guess it's for a worthy cause. Unlike Lynette, Gabrielle's felony of choice isn't exhibitionism, but the much more predictable pedophilia. Once a cradle-robber, always a cradle-robber. And this time, her boyfriend (/stalker) isn't even hot--it's a creepily bewigged and newly rich Zach! Yeah, ew.
Susan's plot was pretty boring in comparison: Julie wants her some birth control pills, and she's willing to go to Edie to get them. Unfortunately, she totally gets busted by Susan. Double-unfortunately, so does Austin as he's boning Little Miss Van de Tramp. Oops.
Bree spends the episode trying to get Alma to move out (no luck there, since Alma has an evil blackmail plan to get Orson back and make Bree doubt him), and then clutching a bunch of gross, bloody teeth. For real. She found them under a floorboard in Alma's new house, and instead of calling the police, chose to hold them contemplatively in her BARE HANDS. I think Paranoid Scheming Bree may have killed OCD Cleanfreak Bree once and for all, unfortunately. Just as Insane Manipulative Lynette must have killed Insane Manipulative Kayla, since she was nowhere to be seen this week.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Desperate Housewives: Night of the Living Dead
For our first new episode in a long while, we have a couple characters back from the dead. First off, there's Alma Hodges. Turns out she's not so murdered-by-Orson after all! Way to be alive, Alma. Hope you enjoyed Winnipeg.
Also back in the land of the living is Kayla, who has come to live with Lynette and her merry band of misfits. Was Kayla in Winnipeg, too? Kayla, it seems, has inherited manipulative psycopathy from her mother, and irritating obstinacy from her father. Charming.
Elsewhere on Wisteria Lane, everyone's sleeping around and acting jealous. And yes, there is an elephant in the room that I haven't mentioned yet: Marcia Cross and her giant, pregnant-with-twins self. For a show with such crazy plotlines, I probably would have gone with a "runs away from Orson only to discover that it was really his evil twin that was cheating on Alma with Monique and then killed the latter, so then returns home" story rather than a "happens to be standing behind large pieces of furniture at all times and is not at all noticeably heavier with giant cleavage" strategy. The first one is just so much more believable.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Desperate Housewives: Suburb of the Dolls
Some TV shows lend themselves well to dolls and action figures. These would be the cult/sci-fi shows like Buffy, The X-Files, and Futurama, as well as any kids' show from the '80s or '90s. If you're in your twenties, dollars to donuts you had either My Little Pony dolls or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures. (And, if you're Liz, you had a cheesy TMNT video in which the Turtles sing about pizza.) All of these toys are fun, of course, even now, when they can be used as cubicle decoration and stress relief (pretend Zoidberg is your boss and crash the Planet Express ship into him!). But I don't see what the inherent fun is in the Desperate Housewives dolls that were recently unveiled. For one thing, they're Barbie-type dolls, but I can't see many little girls playing with them, unless it's to perfect their Mary Alice-style trite narration skills. For another, they're kind of creepy-looking. The Susan doll is particularly so, because, breaking the rule of pretty much every doll/action figure based on a real person, it really does look like Teri Hatcher. Of course, Teri Hatcher looks like a Barbie doll her own self, so that's probably why.
But of all the current TV shows, it's obviously Heroes that would make the best toys. Think of it: a Hiro action figure. He'd go "Yahoo!" when you pressed a button on his back, and if you dunked him in cold water, a little soul patch would appear and he'd be Future Hiro. That'd be sweet.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Desperate Housewives: If a moron gets arrested in the woods, and no one's around to hear it...
In last night's slightly weak episode of Desperate Housewives (sweeps sets a high bar, Marc Cherry), Gabby gives a bunch of little wanna-be models eating disorders, Susan faces off with Ian's butler and ends up with a drawer, Lynette obsesses over a possible child molester, and Bree tries to deal with Orson's mother. That is, until said mother lets slip that Orson cheated on Alma with Monique.
That's right, the Monique whom Orson pretended not to recognize in the morgue on his and Bree's wedding night. Awk! Ward! Also: Monique really got around in that neighborhood--damn! Needless to say, Bree kicks Orson out. Oh, and Andrew finally reverts to his true self, selling his alcoholic grandmother a bottle of wine. Nice, Andrew. Nice.
In Desperate Househusbands news, Carlos crashes with Mike, whom he calls his best friend. Ha. They have Tom over for a football game, where Mike asks the guys what he was like before the accident. They answer honestly: mysterious and stand-offish. Incidentally, Mike lost more than his memories in the accident--he also lost any criminal smarts he once had. Knowing that the police were looking for his toolbox, and knowing that they had been staking out his house, Mike thought it would be a bright move to drive out to the woods to bury the toolbox. Yeah, busted. Dumbass.
Oh, and what the heck happened to Kayla? Didn't Nora make Lynette promise to take good care of her? I'm pretty sure that doesn't entail ditching her at the local orphanage, or her mysterious grandmothers' house, or IHOP. I'm assuming I missed something here, because I didn't see her hanging out with the Scavo kids last night, but I don't remember her being sent anywhere else. Eh, whatever...next week's holiday episode looks like a good one!
Monday, October 30, 2006
Desperate Housewives: Boozan!
Sex! Scandal! Murder! Booze (and along with it "Boozan," Susan's alter ego)! This week's Desperate Housewives had all of those tasty treats, plus Gabrielle in sexy lingerie (which I suppose counts as "sex," but was hot enough to be worthy of separate mention). It was the perfect mix of all the elements which make Desperate Housewives great, without being overwhelming, like last week's episode.
The ladies (sans recovering alcoholic Bree) spend some quality time together drinking on Lynette's porch and venting about their crazy lives. End result: Lynette realizes she needs to support Tom, Gabrielle confesses to the gals that she still loves Carlos, and Boozan drunkenly crashes Ian's party and admits that leaving him was a mistake.
Oh, and meanwhile, Bree finds out that Orson probably beat his last wife, who looked just like Bree, and Orson finds out that his friend (Roseanne's sister's husband, if you can follow that) was having an affair with Monique (the dead chick from the golf course, also a dead (ha!) ringer for Bree), whom Orson totally killed. Lots of great mystery development, in other words.
Oh, and was anyone else totally bummed that Lynette and Nora didn't get into a catfight? It was SO CLOSE! Ah, well...there's always next week. It also pains me to admit that Mike, confined to a hospital bed/wheelchair and basically emasculated by Edie, is getting less and less hot every week. Which I'm not sure I would have believed possible if I hadn't seen it with my own two disappointed eyes.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Desperate Housewives: So...Much...Drama...
Does anyone else find Desperate Housewives kind of stressful to watch? While I think it's definitely back on track this season with the new mystery, I've gotten to the point (and I confess, this has happened to me before with this show) where it feels as if the housewives' separate storylines combine to become a giant, nerve-wracking mess each episode.
Take last night: Separately, each of these storylines would have been fine. Together, I found them completely exhausting. Mike's been brainwashed by Edie (bitch!) and is totally giving Susan the cold shoulder, so she kidnaps him from the hospital to take him to Wisteria Lane so that he can regain his memory. Gabrielle amps up the divorce-related bickering with Carlos, bringing men home to make him jealous. Lynette tries to support Tom's dream of opening a pizzeria, but ultimately tells him (after a discussion with Nora) that she's worried he'll fail. Nora, of course, goes behind Lynette's back and tells Tom that she believes in him, making Lynette out to be an unsupportive bitch. Danielle threatens to run away if Bree keeps her from sleeping with her history teacher, and after Bree blackmails the teacher into dumping her, Danielle gets him fired and sabotages his divorce proceedings.
Aaaaah! Do all the housewives have to have all this drama going on every episode? Am I alone in wanting a little more mystery (now with Mike!) and a little less individual drama? I guess this is what I get for watching two episodes in a row last night (I was behind due to the cable problems last week). While I love the show, sometimes it's just a little much.
UPDATE: I totally forgot to mention the best part of the episode! Ann from Arrested Development ("Her?") played Julie's slutty, bad-haired friend!
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Desperate Housewives: MIKE!
This week on Wisteria Lane, Lynette sort of implies that she wouldn't be completely devastated if Nora killed herself (not cool, Lynette), and Nora helps her realize that Tom isn't happy with his life, either. Bree finds out that Andrew is living on the street (not Wisteria Lane, mind you, but the big bad streets of the city where one is forced to do things for money and food), but Orson convinces him to come home, because why have one psychopath in your house when you could have two? Gabrielle sleeps with John, who now owns a landscaping business with a lucrative hotel contract, but is engaged to the daughter of the hotel chain's owner (oops!). Finally, Susan (oh, Susan) goes to Ian's love nest in the mountains and prepares to get biz-ay until he basically calls her a whore for having slept with 11 men before him. Of course, she ends up sleeping with him anyway. Oh, and Edie stops by Mike's hospital room to get her CD player, and he wakes up. Yeah.
I gotta say, despite the show's flirtation with hooking Julie up with Edie's bad-boy nephew (blergh) and the whole Nora thing (double blergh), I'm liking this season a LOT better than last season. Creator Marc Cherry has clearly listened to the criticisms of last season (which pretty much defined "sophomore slump") - that the core group of women didn't spend enough time together; that the central mystery didn't involve them enough, took too long to develop, and wasn't that interesting - and has specifically addressed all of them. I'm loving the Orson mystery, and actually looking forward to each week's episode, compared to the strong temptation I felt to quit watching the show last season. And all this, despite the fact that Mike is in a coma and has almost no screen time! (Yeah, the insanely hot James Denton may be why I kept watching last season. Shut up.)
So here's to Desperate Housewives and Veronica Mars, my two favorite shows from the class of Fall '04, overcoming sophomore slump and starting off their junior year on the right track!
