Burn Notice! Two-hour season finale! Now! On USA! (Yeah, I'm a little pumped. Wanna fight about it?) We open with an artful shot of Michael working out shirtless. Did I mention I love this show? Oh, and the Charger (for those who, like me, were saddened by its brush with explosives last week) is back in prime condition, incredibly enough. And then, as if it couldn't get any better, Michael heads out to meet Cowan, the man who burned him. And, as we all know by now, he's played by Richard. Freaking. Schiff! Toby!!! This show has the greatest casting ever, you guys. (Gabrielle Anwar and her cruddy American accent and skeletal figure excepted, of course.)
Fiona brings up a valid point, though, while Michael is trying so hard to talk to Toby: Why does he want so badly to get back in to the CIA? He's helping people in Miami, he has Fiona (not so great according to me, but still), they keep trying to kill him... He says he wants to clear his name and find out why he was burned, but I can't help but agree with Fiona on this one, at least a little.
Once he finally does make contact with Toby, he only gets a wave and a coded message. Oh, Toby. So cryptic. So mysterious. So missed by me. Michael cracks Toby's code and is rewarded with a meeting time and another message. In the meantime, Nate (Michael's ne’er-do-well brother) is back in town to watch out for their mom, and Sam heads out to take a case on his own. About dang time! Goooo Sam! A security employee is being blackmailed into smuggling drugs, and wants out. Sam, clever fellow that he is, recruits Fiona to help. Fiona agrees, for a price. They manage to track down the bad guy, but it turns out he's not the bad guy after all, and the employee is being set up by a friend whom she thought was also being blackmailed. Ouch. They recruit Michael to help turn the double blackmail until a triple blackmail. Unfortunately, the Charger's windshield gets a bit shot up in the process. Oh, and the client (and Michael) almost get blown up. And, Michael's shirt gets dirty! It's hard out there for an (ex-)spy. Plus, while helping Sam and Fiona, Michael has managed to miss his meeting with Toby.
He and Toby finally meet up, though, and my heart fills with joy at seeing Richard Schiff on TV again. Toby claims that he didn't burn Michael after all--that it was a much larger conspiracy. Though he does cop to trying to have Michael killed, so there's that. Apparently, the "powerful, dangerous people" that Toby works for have big plans for Michael. And in the injustice to end all injustices, they snipe Toby in the chest right as he's explaining everything. Well, cryptically hinting at everything, anyway. But more importantly: NOOOOOO!!!! TOOOOBBBYYYYY!!! Just as my heart was swelling with joy! With joy!!! There aren't enough exclamation points in the world to express my sorrow. Oh, and in the meantime, things only go downhill for Sam and Fiona as the lower-level smugglers get themselves exploded, and Sam gets himself kidnapped by the higher-level smugglers, so...super. Sam: kidnapped. Toby: dead. Thank God it's a two-hour finale, and not a cliffhanger! You'd better make it up to me in the second hour, Burn Notice. Consider yourself on notice.
We return to find Michael's place surrounded by the folks who killed Toby and had him burned. Fiona calls him in a panic, and he and Nate, who is helpfully playing chauffer, head off to her rescue. And, hopefully, Sam's rescue (if not, USA Network is getting a strongly-worded letter from yours truly). Sweet shoot-em-up-ness and homemade truck/bomb-ness ensues. I really, really love this show. They make it out okay, but emerge Sam-less. Michael gets Nate to bring their mom to Nate's place (their new hideout) for safety, while Sam gets the tar beat out of him by his heroin-dealing captors for refusing to talk. It's really tough to watch, but at least he has some pretty good post-punch comebacks. Alias-worthy, even. Michael tries to negotiate Sam's return while Fiona gathers weaponry. You know, just in case. Sam, for his part, discreetly tries to discourage Michael and Fiona from even bothering a rescue. Don't give up, Sam! My viewership next season is partially dependent on your survival!
The government-types who shot Toby clearly want to bring Michael in, and when Michael and Fiona head over to check them out, they barely make it out safely. A mysterious woman, one of the burners, calls and wants to talk about Michael's burn notice and his past, but Michael's more worried about Sam at this point. Barry the money launderer helpfully and semi-unwillingly steers Michael toward some other heroin dealers who might know who has Sam. A few explosives and threats later (I feel like I saw that a lot, recapping this show), Michael gets the heroin boss's name, and heads out with Fiona to check out the operation and set a meeting with the boss. Sam tries valiantly to get himself killed, so that Michael won't step into a trap trying to rescue him. Aw, Sam! He's such a loyal BFF. But seriously, dude, cut it OUT.
It takes some doing, but Michael convinces his mom to leave town with Nate. Of course, they get themselves a little bit followed. She would be the worst spy ever, yo. Michael saves the day, as usual, allowing Nate and his mom to get out of town, but only by agreeing to come in alive after the burners give him 12 hours to save Sam. Otherwise, he threatens suicide. Um, there are only ten minutes left in the episode at this point. I smell an unsatisfying ending!
Michael and Fiona share a goodbye kiss before riding off into the sunset to save Sam. (Fiona's there too, of course, but up on a building playing sniper.) When most of the bad guys leave their hideout (a boat) to supposedly meet Michael and Fiona, Michael scubas over to the boat, SEAL-style, and stages a crazy rescue. Complete, as always, with homemade explosives and plenty o' shooting. (Best moment: When the bad guy calls Michael to finish the deal, only to hear a phone ringing outside the door. Oh, and the obligatory "running away in slo-mo as the boat explodes" shot. AWESOME!)
In the ultimate act of gratitude, Sam lets Michael borrow the Cadillac to drive off to find his destiny. And also the reason he was burned. And who burned him. And what they want from him now. The mysterious woman is very much looking forward to meeting him, and Michael tells himself that some information is worth risking everything for, as he drives the Cadillac into a giant truck parked on a bridge. And...that's all she wrote, unfortunately. As USA unhelpfully reminds us, Burn Notice returns with all-new episodes NEXT SUMMER. So until then, I'd suggest re-watching this season, checking out Chuck for your spy fix, and maybe getting a screen grab of Michael's shirtless workout. You know, for the memories. It's been fun, y'all!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Burn Notice: Double your pleasure, double your fun!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Burn Notice: Back with a vengeance
Finally, after what seems like months of waiting for the U.S. Open to end, Burn Notice is back, baby! And don't get me wrong--I love tennis. But I'm pretty sure Bruce Campbell hasn't swung a racket at Flushing Meadows anytime recently, so it's just innately less awesome than Burn Notice. I mean, come on. Bruce Freaking Campbell! (Yeah, the first season is coming to an end and I'm still not over the awesomeness.)
So what kind of awesomeness were we in for tonight? The very BEST kind--surprise plot twist awesomeness! Michael's friend Lucy, a corporate spy, offers him a job involving a woman whose abusive ex ran off with her son. He agrees to help the woman, Evelyn (played by Lucy Lawless, another cult favorite), in exchange for ID papers to help him travel to DC. I kind of question the assumption that, even with papers, he'd be able to leave town. I mean, he's not getting facial reconstructive surgery, right? So barring any Mission Impossible-style rubber masks, it seems like he's got no chance getting out of town, with or without a fake passport. Wouldn't his poster be all over the airports, even if he's not being tailed? That guy at the ID shop certainly had it. Well, at any rate, he's going to try and get to DC and confront El Burnerino.
Evelyn's case, for its part, hits very close to home with Michael. Plus, she hits on him pretty heavily. He's a pro, but I definitely got suspicious (along with Fiona). I mean, Evelyn was reaaaally selling the "damsel in distress" thing hard. And the parallels with Michael's life seemed a bit too convenient. However, I was thinking that Lucy betrayed Michael and threw Evelyn at him to keep him in town. How small my imagination was...because Evelyn's an assassin! SWEET! Turns out, the "abusive husband" is really her target (an accountant thinking about turning State's witness on the mob), and Michael led her right to him. This show is so cool, you guys. Just when you think it's going to zig, it zags, and then explodes a flaming tank of propane all over the Charger.
And apparently, Michael and Evelyn have a history. Intriiiguing. He almost busted her in Istanbul seven years ago, and she's been quasi-stalking him ever since--a hobby made easier since he got burned and his personal files were unclassified. In the end, though, all her stalking and weird seduction stuff proves pointless, as Michael finds her on a rooftop getting ready to shoot his new client, the accountant. Rather than be captured, she tells him that she wishes things could've been different, and takes a tail dive off the building. Dramatic 'til the end, that one. I have to admit, though, I was a little perplexed. Was she secretly in love with Michael? Working for someone else who was interested (not that way) in him? Just really manic-depressive? Hopefully joking when she asked that clichéd "what if things had been different between us?" question? Hmm.
My only complaint about this episode would have to be the Fiona/Michael stuff. Too many whiny conversations (in sometimes hard-to-understand accents--I'm looking in your direction, Gabrielle Anwar), too little seeing them as an actual couple. And it's weird, because normally I'm all about the strong female characters, but there's something about Fiona that just bothers me occasionally. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it could certainly be the extreme bobble-headedness. Seriously, somebody should probably feed that woman before Fiona actually becomes invisible in profile. Just sayin'.
In any case, all's well that ends well, and Michael doesn't even have to go to DC after all! Because, in the crowning achievement of this show's awesomeness, Richard Schiff, the man who burned him, is coming to Miami! Next week! In the two-hour season finale! (Yeah, I'm psyched already. What of it? The guy is awesome! Just like everything else about this show! Exclamation points all around!)
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Burn Notice: A little less conversation
Tonight's Burn Notice was all action, baby. No family stuff, not too much relationship drama, no sitting by the pool sipping cocktails (unfortunately for Sam). Just a lot of kicking ass and taking names. Man, I love this show.
Sam provides us with our quasi-charity case of the week, a friend of his "lady friend" who's landed himself in a bit of a pickle. Incidentally, said lady friend has finally provided Sam with his Cadillac! And while I'm sitting here wondering if Cadillacs are cool again as we go to commercial, heeeey...what a coincidence: Burn Notice is sponsored by Cadillac! Who woulda thunk it?! And according to the clearly impartially-written Sam, it's like driving on a cloud, or some junk like that. Sigh. I guess it's better than Alias's "Quick! To the incredibly awesome Ford F-150! [Zoom in on logo]" scenes, but still... Sam manages to win me back by describing their job as "freelance superhero Robin Hood kind of guy," which is pretty much exactly how I describe Burn Notice to people, minus the awesome sarcastic narration, of course.
At any rate, this week Michael is helping out a housesitting surfer dude whose penchant for pretending to be wealthy has gotten his fiancée kidnapped. Oh, and she thinks he's rich. Whoops. According to Michael, "about 40% of kidnapping victims are returned safely," which is a pretty frighteningly low number, if you ask me. Do you think they just make these statistics up? Because if not, yikes. Luckily, though, Michael and gang manage to kidnap one of the kidnappers and force him into working with them. Even so, it takes some crazy stalling techniques, undercover work, and massage-getting (lucky Michael) before they can find out where the girl is being kept. After that, it's a simple matter of throwing together a flash grenade and a lock-melting bomb thing using ingredients easily purchased at your local pharmacy. Gotta love that American ingenuity. Irish in Fiona's case, I guess. So the hostage is rescued and delivered to her worried surfer boy, and which point she (rightfully, I'd say) proceeds to beat the tar out of him.
In the meantime, Michael gets an opportunity to clear his name by meeting with a government paper-pusher and going over his file. Don't ask me how, exactly, since he's not supposed to have the file in the first place. Anyway, before taking advantage of this great opportunity to tell his side of the story, Michael gets the guy arrested to make sure he's not an assassin or whatever, thus completely pissing the dude off. Michael's really a people person. Luckily, the paper-pusher is willing to come to Michael's place and meet with him anyway (which probably should have been a red flag, given all the inconveniences he'd suffered). Unluckily, the dude's totally an assassin after all, and tries to garrote Michael. Bananas! This show is the best! Michael manages to grab his handy "taped under the sink for situations just like this one" gun, and shoots the guy right through his middle. Sadly for Michael, it still seems this one got away, without any clue as to who sent him (the man who burned him being an obvious suspect).
We get a happy ending, too, as Michael gets Fiona a fancy new (or possibly old--I don't know guns) gun for her birthday. God, though, I would hate to date Michael. The constant smiling, difficult to tell between genuine and sarcastic. The obsessive focus on that whole “getting his life back” thing. The ever-present danger of an assassination attempt. The related paranoia. It would drive me crazy. Of course, his charm, hot bod, and general adorableness would prooobably make up for at least a few of the above annoyances. Still, though, I’m feeling a bit bad for Fiona. Although dating a freakishly strong skeleton can't be easy for Michael, either.
Here's hoping that next week will bring on the Richard Schiff!
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Burn Notice: The softer side of spies
It's the rare summer show (or regular season show, as a matter of fact) that actually provides characters with depth, backstory, and the ability to grow, while still qualifying as light viewing. Sure, you get the quality dramas (The Closer, Rescue Me), and the quality comedies (Monk, Psych), but rarely do you get those shows that combine the best attributes of both into the perfect, summer-appropriate package. Burn Notice provides all that and more (BRUCE CAMPBELL! And his "guns of steel!"), and we're only three episodes in! Let's all consider ourselves very lucky, and not question how a show this great landed on cable in the most ratings-starved season of the year.
Although I was skeptical at first, I'm kind of loving the Fiona/Michael relationship, at least for now. (Although why would you need a key to someone's place if you could break in whenever you wanted?) She pushes him, he pushes back but eventually caves, she throws Molotov cocktails at scumbags trying to kill his clients...it's pretty effing sweet, and manages to humanize Michael a bit. I'm a little more suspicious, however, of the other major Michael-humanizing effort being undertaken by the show's writers: the whole "daddy issues" backstory. It just really, really has the potential to get clichéd in a hurry, if you ask me. As long as they remember that a little goes a long way, though, I'll be fine. And his new/old Charger is pretty tight, so that's something.
Our case of the week also served to soften Michael up a little. In helping Carol and her daughter escape the drug cartel, he not only got to show off his mad spy skillz (cell phone-linked motion detector, the old "torch to the metal doorknob" trick, walking into a secure area with confidence and then running away quickly...), but also had to deal with something illogical--something that couldn't be fixed by smashing in a door, or tapping someone's phone. The laws of reason didn't apply, and Michael was forced to dig way deep down and use empathy and humanity to deal with the situation. Yes, horror upon horrors, Michael had to deal with a teenage girl. A teenage girl faced with picking up in the middle of the night and fleeing to Buffalo...on the night of the spring formal! Terrible.
But whaddya know, Michael is able to bust out a story about how he met Fiona when she was in the IRA, and they found each other again, and fate, blah blah blah the daughter totally understands and everything is fixed. Can I tell you guys how much I love the fact that all of Michael's stories begin with something like, "This one time, when I was imprisoned and tortured in Kiev..." or, "So I was stuck in the middle of the Afghani desert with nothing but a bottle opener, four pennies, and a bunch of guys trying to kill me..." It somehow makes his attempts at empathizing both laughable and overly sincere at the same time.
On the burn notice front, I'm kind of wondering if they're going to start moving that plot along more quickly. I mean, Michael actually now has the homeland security directive that led to his dismissal, and all it gave him were a couple of codes? For real? When's he going to start kicking ass and taking names on his own behalf, instead of his clients'? Ah, well...I, for one, am certainly enjoying the ride.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Burn Notice: Michael Westen's Household Hints!
I love this show. I love the soundtrack’s Miami flavor. I love Bruce Campbell (yes, and Jeffrey Donovan). I love the dry narration. I love Michael’s charm, and I love that despite that charm, he still can’t manage to comfort an upset old lady when he’s not in character. I love this show. And, it’s full of helpful tips! For example, if you’re trying to catch a con artist, send in another con artist. Or a spy. Because they’re basically the same, apparently. Plus, bugs don’t plant themselves—“eavesdropping and fieldwork go hand in hand.” Oh, and something about breaking up teams and planting seeds of distrust and smoking the resulting…um…discord? Way more helpful than Heloise’s hints, if you ask me. I was just outside wiring a blasting cap into a car’s gas tank, and then I was all, “No, wait…Burn Notice taught me to put the blasting cap in the electrical system.” Thanks, Burn Notice!
At any rate, this week Michael is trying to track down information on some shady folk who’ve planted a bug in his mom’s house. Unfortunately, they are elusive, and willing to burn tons of expensive surveillance equipment (and records, presumably) to keep Michael from getting his hands on it. Also unfortunately, his mother basically blackmails him into helping her friend before she’ll give him any information on the mysterious men who visited her house. Oh, and he has to bring Fiona (the ex) home for an uncomfortable dinner, too.
Michael meets with his mom’s friend, who has been taken in by an identity theft scam and beaten up in the process. Gullible old people make me really sad. Michael is very uncomfortable around her, which is pretty funny, but also telling. Sam (BRUCE CAMPBELL!) agrees to help Michael with the case, but only if he can crash at Michael’s place for a while. Fiona and Sam…don’t get along. They’ve got a bit of an ugly business history, it seems. Fiona, incidentally, is ditching the Irish accent for the time being, now that she’s staying in Miami. Works for me.
After a few hitches (distrustful con artists, interrupted bug-planting, exploding cars, FBI surveillance…), and with Sam and Fiona’s assistance, Michael is able to essentially steal back the old lady’s money, along with a bunch of other retirees’. And get the bad guy arrested. But possibly not for what he actually did. …Score one for justice? As an aside, Michael has some mad one-handed texting skillz (and I mean that literally, although the phrase has excellent euphemistic potential). Is that something they teach at spy academy?
Anyway, Michael’s mom reveals that the men who came to the house asked all about Michael, his habits, and his relationship with her. She told them she and Michael have a great relationship, which can’t really bode well for his mom, can it? And it’s apparently not even true, as if we didn’t know that already. They also gave her a phone number to call if he ever came to Miami or tried to contact her. Michael, of course, calls the number. There’s “a friend” on the other end of the line, and I kind of can’t wait to find out what he wants (aside from destroying Michael, I’d imagine). Yay, mystery men! This show rocks.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Burn Notice: And you thought being an active spy was hard?
Burn Notice, USA’s latest summer offering, is a clever, well-acted, generally awesome summer drama. You’ve got action, you’ve got comedy, you’ve got sarcastic narration, and you’ve got Bruce Freaking Campbell. What’s not to love, right? We begin with Michael Westen, a contractor for the CIA who is having a Very Bad Day. You see, right in the middle of arranging a big deal with a warlord wannabe in Nigeria, he gets a “burn notice” from the CIA. Blacklisted. Can’t work for them anymore. Ruh roh. Being the super bad-ass spy that he is, he just barely manages to escape with his life. You know, after a fight, a motorcycle chase, and a semi-conscious plane flight back to the States.
We rejoin Michael in Miami (his hometown), where he wakes up to find himself under the reluctant care of his ex-girlfriend Fiona (who used to rob banks for the IRA), and under surveillance by the FBI. After giving the feds the slip, Michael checks into a hotel…or at least tries to, until he discovers that his accounts have been frozen. When the CIA fires a spy, we learn, they remove all avenues by which the spy does his or her job, since the CIA can’t really remove the spy’s skills. Michael tries to contact his case officer by payphone (do those really still exist?), but the CIA operator refuses to connect him. One fake pipe bomb in the mail later (works for me every time), and Dan the case officer gets in touch with Michael, instructing him to lay low and stay in Miami. Dan can’t give him any information on the burn notice, other than to tell him that whoever issued it really wanted to shut him down.
After giving his watchers the slip again, Michael goes to see Lucy, an ex-spy. She doesn’t know why he’s been burned, but calls the awesomely named Sam Axe (BRUCE CAMPBELL!!!), “The Buddy,” to see if he’ll share a job with Michael so’s Michael can get some cash. Sam, apparently, is a drunk womanizer who also used to be a spy.
The job is for a rich businessman’s caretaker, Javier, who seems to be in a spot of trouble. The businessman was robbed of $22 million in jewelry and paintings, and only the caretaker had the security code. The businessman seems pretty sure the caretaker is innocent, and a quick trip to Barry the Money Launderer gets Michael in touch with an art dealer, who puts him on the trail of the real thief. Javier’s boss. Who robbed himself for the insurance money, only to set Javier up as the fall guy. Apparently, the rich guy is something of a crook. With a little bit of blackmail, a jury-rigged listening device, a carjacking, and a foiled kidnapping attempt, Javier is safe.
In the midst of all this, Michael finds an apartment with a Russian expatriate landlord who is well-familiar with Michael’s reputation. The apartment is apparently above some sort of underground club, and in an angry drug dealer’s turf. I smell a prank war! It’s all fun and games until someone’s knees get shot, man. So yeah, not so much with the drug dealer anymore. Michael’s also got a nagging, hypochondriac mother, but I doubt he’ll deal with her in the same way.
So basically, we’ve got a spy who’s not allowed to spy anymore (or know why he’s not allowed to spy anymore), with three true allies in Miami: Fiona, Sam, and Lucy. Oh, and apparently Sam and Lucy are talking to the feds, but hopefully just enough to keep them off Michael’s back. Anyway, seems the feds can be kept happy if Michael keeps his head down and stays out of trouble. Anyone see that as a possibility? No? Okay. Let’s all get psyched for next week’s episode, then, because Jeffrey Donovan is rockin’ this show hardcore. Thursdays at 10 on USA, baby.
