Burn Notice: Back with a vengeance

Finally, after what seems like months of waiting for the U.S. Open to end, Burn Notice is back, baby! And don't get me wrong--I love tennis. But I'm pretty sure Bruce Campbell hasn't swung a racket at Flushing Meadows anytime recently, so it's just innately less awesome than Burn Notice. I mean, come on. Bruce Freaking Campbell! (Yeah, the first season is coming to an end and I'm still not over the awesomeness.)

So what kind of awesomeness were we in for tonight? The very BEST kind--surprise plot twist awesomeness! Michael's friend Lucy, a corporate spy, offers him a job involving a woman whose abusive ex ran off with her son. He agrees to help the woman, Evelyn (played by Lucy Lawless, another cult favorite), in exchange for ID papers to help him travel to DC. I kind of question the assumption that, even with papers, he'd be able to leave town. I mean, he's not getting facial reconstructive surgery, right? So barring any Mission Impossible-style rubber masks, it seems like he's got no chance getting out of town, with or without a fake passport. Wouldn't his poster be all over the airports, even if he's not being tailed? That guy at the ID shop certainly had it. Well, at any rate, he's going to try and get to DC and confront El Burnerino.

Evelyn's case, for its part, hits very close to home with Michael. Plus, she hits on him pretty heavily. He's a pro, but I definitely got suspicious (along with Fiona). I mean, Evelyn was reaaaally selling the "damsel in distress" thing hard. And the parallels with Michael's life seemed a bit too convenient. However, I was thinking that Lucy betrayed Michael and threw Evelyn at him to keep him in town. How small my imagination was...because Evelyn's an assassin! SWEET! Turns out, the "abusive husband" is really her target (an accountant thinking about turning State's witness on the mob), and Michael led her right to him. This show is so cool, you guys. Just when you think it's going to zig, it zags, and then explodes a flaming tank of propane all over the Charger.

And apparently, Michael and Evelyn have a history. Intriiiguing. He almost busted her in Istanbul seven years ago, and she's been quasi-stalking him ever since--a hobby made easier since he got burned and his personal files were unclassified. In the end, though, all her stalking and weird seduction stuff proves pointless, as Michael finds her on a rooftop getting ready to shoot his new client, the accountant. Rather than be captured, she tells him that she wishes things could've been different, and takes a tail dive off the building. Dramatic 'til the end, that one. I have to admit, though, I was a little perplexed. Was she secretly in love with Michael? Working for someone else who was interested (not that way) in him? Just really manic-depressive? Hopefully joking when she asked that clichéd "what if things had been different between us?" question? Hmm.

My only complaint about this episode would have to be the Fiona/Michael stuff. Too many whiny conversations (in sometimes hard-to-understand accents--I'm looking in your direction, Gabrielle Anwar), too little seeing them as an actual couple. And it's weird, because normally I'm all about the strong female characters, but there's something about Fiona that just bothers me occasionally. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it could certainly be the extreme bobble-headedness. Seriously, somebody should probably feed that woman before Fiona actually becomes invisible in profile. Just sayin'.

In any case, all's well that ends well, and Michael doesn't even have to go to DC after all! Because, in the crowning achievement of this show's awesomeness, Richard Schiff, the man who burned him, is coming to Miami! Next week! In the two-hour season finale! (Yeah, I'm psyched already. What of it? The guy is awesome! Just like everything else about this show! Exclamation points all around!)