It's getting to be more and more of a chore for me to write these CSI posts. It's all right to watch the episode, but when I sit down to write and I cast my mind over the episode to search out my opinions, I find… nothing. With the exception of Greg's beat down, this season has not grabbed my interest. And the beat down episode was affecting because of how well it was put together, in the case of the actual beat down, and written, in the case of the Sara/Greg scene afterward. Otherwise, I wouldn't care what happened to Greg, as this week's episode proved to me. It's his coroner's inquest, and despite the threats from a smug juror, a politically motivated judge, and an angry brother, I couldn't bring myself to be invested in the verdict. It doesn't help that this subplot should be driven by Greg's inner turmoil – his guilt over Demetrius' death, the need to reach out to the family – and Eric Szmanda is basically sleepwalking through the episode. I was also, as I was watching the inquest, comparing it unfavorably to any given episode of Justice. And it wasn't just "Damn, I wish we had some Victor Garber up in here." Because say what you want about Justice, but it knows how to keep your eyeballs glued to the screen once you start watching.
I don't know that it's CSI's fault. It's not a bad show. But there's a better show on at the same time, and in a couple of weeks, another show, also better, will move into the same time slot. ABC, NBC, and CBS have forced me to make a choice – and CBS lost. So long, CSI. I'll check in on you when Grey's and Scrubs are both repeats.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
CSI: Outprogrammed
Friday, November 10, 2006
Ugly Betty: Shut up, Walter
Walter sucks. Yes, again, and yes, some more. Betty gets an assignment reviewing a posh hotel, but the assignment conflicts with the romantic weekend Walter has planned in Atlantic City. Walter whines and decides to go by himself, and then comes back and whines some more when he sees a masseur in Betty's room. And at dinner, he hits a new low. Like a giant baby, he causes a scene in the restaurant, demanding a hamburger and all but admitting he doesn't like Betty working at Mode and oh my God, shut up and die, why don't you, Walter? I hate his whiny voice, I hate his bitchy attitude, I hate his clingy, possessive "love" for Betty, I just friggin' hate his whinging guts. Add to this the facts that he doesn't like anything she does, he doesn't support her dream, he left her for the neighborhood ho, and he pales in comparison to Cute Henry, and it's a mystery what the writers (and Betty) are doing with him. Are we honestly supposed to find him likeable? Seriously, all of that, and we're still expected to root for Betty and Walter? I'm rooting for her to break up with him, is what I'm rooting for. Go away, Walter.
Anyway. Daniel and Salma Hayek continue their "I hate you but secretly like you" dance. He reads her books and orders her Indian food, she takes him for a ride on her motorcycle (not a metaphor) and plays a little pool with him. Then she takes him for a ride on her motorcycle (metaphor). The next day when Daniel's all, "I tried to call you! Why didn't you call me?", she admits that she has a boyfriend. It appears as though the promiscuity is on the other foot. Um. Well, you know what I mean. Daniel's getting what's coming to him, and maybe he'll learn something from this. Probably not, though.
Also: Wilhelmina charms a cowboy, Marc wears multiple cowboy hats, and Justin gets a dad. Deadbeat, of course.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
The Office: Making SexyBack Acceptable
Aaaanyways, I'm not generally a "SexyBack" kind of person, but this hysterical Office-themed music video makes the song almost enjoyable.
Veronica Mars: Cheatcakes
This week: everyone is a bunch of cheaters. Filthy, filthy cheaters. Including Wallace, who actually did cheat on his exam and admitted it, and now faces a choice: basketball or mechanical engineering? He chooses mechanical engineering. Which, good for him, if that's what he really wants to do. And if it is what he really wants to do, I just wish we had heard about it before now. Because springing "mechanical engineering is Wallace's dream" on us now seems like… well, a cheat.
Harmony's back (yay!) and goes on a couple of sorta-dates with Keith. When she tempts him with a room at the Neptune Grand, he respectfully declines, but then he gets broadsided by a truck. Which makes him realize that, like Paula Cole, he, too, does not want to wait. So he goes back and puts the moves on Harmony. They make a nice couple, so it's a shame that she's only on for a few episodes. Oh, and the being married part. That's a shame, too.
Veronica has a very personal case this week, as she's accused of plagiarizing a paper for Prof. Landry and has to find out who set her up. The trail leads her to "Rory Finch," which leads her to the Neptune Grand, which leads her to… Mrs. Dean Begley, Jr.? But then Landry appears and everything becomes clear – they're having an affair, and Tim the Creepy T.A. led her on this goose chase to show her what Landry's really like. Whatever. You just want Landry all to yourself, T.A. Smithers. At the end, Veronica can't bring herself to tell Dean Begley, Jr. about his wife, because you know what they say: Veronica Mars, she's a marshmallow. And I have to revise my statement about her relationship with the dean being similar to the relationship with the principal, because Dean Begley, Jr. has sort of adopted her as his little friend. It's both awkward and hilarious. I like it.
There are big developments in the rape saga. Thanks to Veronica's intel, Dean Begley, Jr. finds that Claire made up her rape and expels her, then fires Nish from the paper for lack of objectivity. Needless to say, both women blame Veronica. Also, Parker recognizes Mercer's cologne from the night of her rape. Veronica brings this information to Lamb, who, shockingly, does not make a snide comment and then dismiss her. Reason being, his deputies found vials of GHB in the cashbox from the Venetian. So Mercer is arrested, but not so fast – Logan comes to Veronica and tells her he has a seeeeecret alibi for Mercer. Which means that the feminists and Parker are going to be even angrier at Veronica when she defends Mercer. Greeeeat. You know, there really wasn't enough of that.
And MacWatch 2006 continues, because we didn't see hide nor blue hair of her in this episode. The show keeps making excuses for her, and this week's was that she was "working on a project." All right, show. If you want to play it like that, then I'm putting you on notice. You'll stay there until you admit what you've done with her.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Heroes: Vote Petrelli!
No Glasses Man this week, so the Heroes have to menace themselves, I guess. Niki's got that covered, but let's check in with the others:
Matt: The show earns my undying gratitude for pretending that the whole "mistakenly holding up a convenience store" thing never happened, and for bringing Matt back into the FBI fold. Agent Clea brings him in to help investigate a possible Sylar murder, one in which the body has been severely irradiated. Turns out it's the work of a mixed-up guy with a wife dying of cancer, who was just trying a little persuasion on his wife's oncologist. Extreme persuasion. The guy and Matt have the same little equals sign tattoo, by the way. Maybe it's Glasses Man's way of marking Heroes and returning them to the wild?
Claire: Her brother Lyle finds the tape of Claire not killing herself in various ways, and he knows it's true when he attacks her with a stapler and the blood actually sucks itself back in during the healing process. Sucks itself back in!!!1!! I cannot adequately express how much that freaked me out. In good news, however, I'm really loving Zach. It's great for Claire to have a friend so loyal that he'll help chase Lyle without having any idea what he did. And he's funny, so I have to love him.
Niki/D.L./Micah: Micah disparages his dad as a bad guy until they come across a fiery accident in the middle of the road, one that Hiro and Ando have happened upon too. Thanks to the combined efforts of D.L. and Hiro, they save a woman before the car blows up. This paves the way for a cute scene between Hiro and Micah, and I just love it when Hiro meets other characters we already know, because he instantly makes them his new best friends. Also, Micah reveals his power, because you knew he had one – he heals electronics! He uses an out-of-order phone to call his mom, and, to his credit, he knows the difference between his mom and her alter ego. Said alter ego actually has a name: Jessica. And the more I learn about Jessica/Niki, the more confused I am – is it a split personality situation? But then why does only Jessica have a tattoo?
The Petrellis: We meet Nathan's wife, Heidi, who's in a wheelchair after an accident in which Nathan was driving. Oh, the guilt. During brunch with a reporter, they get a question about Nathan's activities in Vegas, but Peter actually steps up and claims that the hot blond chick was a psychiatrist for him. Wow, good for you, Peter! Maybe you don't suck as much as I've been telling everybody you do. Peter asks that Nathan get Isaac's missing painting back from Linderman for him, and Peter does manage to get it back, but tells Peter he can't. Oh, Nathan. I can't decide if you're bad or just extremely practical, but I'm leaning towards "practical."
Special note to all our New York readers: Keep in mind that Wednesday is the day that your city goes boom. But before you're vaporized in a radioactive blast, remember to vote Petrelli. Early and often.
Monday, November 06, 2006
The Amazing Race: Not So Fast, Fast Forwarders!
This week: Madagascar! Sadly, there are no wisecracking penguins. The teams are sent to find the Black Angel statue, which, as you'll notice from the picture, is white. This doesn't cause as much confusion as you'd expect, because their cab drivers know what it is, and all the teams have to do is run in a straight line once the cabs drop them off. Sometimes this race just isn't hard enough.
Anyway, when the teams arrive, they are confronted with a new twist in the game: the Intersection. This forces each team to band together with another team to complete a task. Rob and Kimberly hook up with Tyler and James, Lyn and Karlyn work with Mary and David, and, because Dustin and Kandice have made no friends, they are stuck with the Chos. But this works out great for the Chos and the queens – they're all good racers, and they work very well together, so they power through the Detour with no problems. See, Chos, this would be an alliance to make. The queens are smart about the race, and the Chos are smart about everything else, including geography. Everybody wins!
Rob and Kimberly and Tyler and James all decide to go for the Fast Forward, and, in the great tradition of all disgusting food challenges, it involves eating a plate of cow lips. This race really discriminates against vegetarians and vegans. Why can't they have some disgusting vegan options? (Liz will tell you that there's no such thing as a disgusting vegan option, but I say five pounds of soy cubes would give racers pause.) The teams have trouble, of course – Kimberly especially struggles – but they keep themselves going by talking about how far ahead of the other teams they're going to be.
In a nice bit of irony (mmm, tastes like cow lips), the Fast Forwarders actually check in behind Dustin and Kandice. Mary and David check in fifth, but they still have their thirty-minute penalty, so it comes down to them and Lyn and Karlyn for elimination. Lyn and Karlyn make it inside the penalty time, so Mary and David have to go home. And it's sad, but it was inevitable. Now, thankfully, the Six-Pack alliance is over, and the Chos can go back to running their own race. They'll save quite a lot of time by not waiting around for David and Mary, that's for sure.
Best moment of the episode: Phil dancing at the pit stop. He really knows how to bring the party, doesn't he?
Saturday, November 04, 2006
CSI: Criminal? See Inside!
Criminals love Grissom. From Paul Millander to Zephyr to that kid who killed his parents with carbon monoxide to Hannibal Lecter, there's nothing that the really clever killers like more than to engage in a game of cat and mouse with Grissom. It's like playing chess against Deep Blue; they can't resist the chance to defeat the world's most coldly logical mind. This week's bad guy, a child molester with a master's degree, is no different. It's clear from about five minutes in that he's the one who abducted a pair of boys, so the remainder of the episode is devoted to proving it, all while he's in the interrogation room, ostensibly offering his insight into the mind of a pedophile. But, oh, silly Carl; they might not even have looked your way if you hadn't torched your car and blamed it on your neighbors. The body on the golf course doesn't help things either. Anyone else get the feeling that the golf courses in Vegas should be declared permanent crime scenes? All told, Carl is a pretty poor nemesis for Grissom, since he gets all whiny and defensive, coming up with an innocent explanation for everything, when Grissom confronts him with the facts. But the Teeny Tiny Crime Scene Killer returns next week, and who could be a more worthy adversary for Grissom than a guy who puts together painstakingly detailed dioramas of his crime scenes?
Greg's Beat Down Plot inches along, as Sara lets it slip that his coroner's inquest is coming up. This comes after Grissom breaks up Sara and Greg's lightswitch rave. Okay, so it's not a rave, it's just loud music, but they definitely could have been having a dance party just before Grissom came in. You kind of have to make up these things for yourself, because character development is minimal.
Speaking of minimal character development, Grissom's getting migraines, and based on this show's track record, they probably won't mention it again until the season finale, when he's diagnosed with a brain tumor or something.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Grey's Anatomy: I'm Pretty Sure the Plural CAN be Uteri
First, though, I'm going to express something minor that's been bothering me for the past couple weeks: I get Izzie not wanting to spend the millions without a plan, but even if she isn't sure what she wants to do with it, why in the hell wouldn't she deposit the check and invest the money so that she'll have MORE money to do something good with, or at least earn some freaking interest?! Okay, I'm done. That just needed to be said.
Favorite moment this week: When George was being Cristina for Meredith ("McDreamy was doing the McNasty with McHottie?") and Meredith was being Izzie for George ("Seriously! Seriously.")
I also love what Shonda Rhimes is doing with Alex's character. Instead of remaining McSteamy's heir apparent, he finds himself gravitating toward Ob/Gyn, which was initially meant as a punishment for him. It makes perfect sense in the context of his character that he wouldn't want to be McSteamy's bitch, but watching him discover that he's actually good at AND interested in Ob/Gyn was really great to watch. Shonda, puppetmaster extraordinaire, did an amazing turnaround with Addison's character last season, and it looks like Alex will be becoming more relatable this time around. Awesome!
It's also fascinating to see Cristina, usually completely confident, in over her head trying to keep Burke's disability a secret. This week, keeping the secret came at the cost of hurting Bailey (lame!), so it'll be interesting to see how much further Cristina (and Burke) will be able to take it.
God, I sound like such an analytical dork. It's just that Shonda Rhimes is so incredible at taking characters and pushing them in unexpected directions (the unshakeable Bailey is now...shaken, for example), and I had to marvel at it a little. To end on a more superficial note, it looks like stairwells may be the new elevators for Meredith and McDreamy. Definitely more hot passing-by potential there, I suppose.
Ugly Betty: Papa Don't... Just Don't
As if there weren't enough subplots I didn't care about, now we get the Mystery of Mama Suarez's First Husband. Yawn. I'm much more invested in the telenovela subplots (the baby is a soccer ball! Joke's on you, Father!). So I'm just kind of dozing as Papa Suarez tells the story of Mama Suarez's abusive first husband and how Papa Suarez killed him and – what? He killed him? What the hell? What show am I watching? Ugly Betty is mostly fun and campy, but even the dramatic parts stop well short of manslaughter. It's jarring, and it doesn't work for me.
Daniel spends the episode salivating over Salma Hayek, who's a strong, independent woman and therefore rejects his advances. So I think we can safely expect to see her inside Daniel's pants by the time November sweeps is over. One person who'll be staying out of his pants is Amanda, who confesses that she had the watch and then bids him happy trails. Good for you, Amanda. At least there's one person on Thursday nights who can stay away from someone who's no good for them (George).
And if there was a daughter in last week's episode, she has to go off in this week's. Wilhelmina's daughter Nico is staying with her, since she's been kicked out of another boarding school. She's supposed to be about 15 years old, but she looks like she's old enough to join her grandpa in Congress. And because Mommy never cared, Nico acts out, shoplifting from "Bergman's," eating (gasp!) cereal, and, finally, staging a fur protest in the Meade lobby, which, come on. It's not even a nude protest. She's not hardcore. So when Wilhelmina turns the protest into a plug for the Must issue (animal rights vs. fashion rights – they can't coexist?), Nico gets an afterschool special speech, blah blah neglectful mother wah. No, I have no sympathy for Nico. She doesn't appreciate her evil mom, she doesn't appreciate her mom's evil minion, and she acts out in amateurish ways. Au revoir, Nico. Come back when you've inherited the Slater evil.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
The Nine: A Guide for Non-Watchers (Start Watching!)
Sigh. The Nine is still struggling with low ratings. Not cool, America. For those of you who aren't watching and feel like you're too behind to start, you can watch full episodes here at ABC.com or read extremely thorough recaps here at Television Without Pity. Alternately, here's a semi-quick rundown of who's who and what's been happening.
The premise is that nine (mostly) strangers were caught in a bank robbery gone bad, and kept hostage for two days. The show takes place in LA, and flashes back and fourth between current time and the bank robbery, in which a security guard was killed. The two robbers are Randall, a seriously bad guy who seems to have done most of the shooting and was shot by SWAT at the end of the hostage situation, and his brother Lucas, who actually seems to have a good relationship with most of the hostages and apparently tried to keep Randall in line. Lucas donated part of his liver to Randall two weeks ago at the request of hostages who wanted to face Randall in court, but they are not at all friendly with each other.
In the photo, from the left, we have:
Eva, a teller at the bank. A single mother (the dad's in prison) with a young son, she had an ongoing flirtation with Nick, and was shot somehow during the course of the hostage situation. She died during surgery soon after. Last night we found out that her ex and Randall were in prison together. However, it seems that Eva was not involved in the robbery, despite Kathryn and Nick's brief suspicions.
Franny, Eva's sister and another teller at the bank. She has a bit of a drinking problem, slept with Jeremy after Eva's funeral, and is struggling to take care of Eva's son. Unable psychologically to return to the bank, she now waitresses at a nightclub. She's angry with Kathryn and Nick for suspecting Eva.
Jeremy: A surgeon at the local hospital. He was dating Lizzie, who is (he recently learned) pregnant with his child, but did or said something during the hostage situation that caused her to end the relationship. He tried to poison Randall (who was at Jeremy's hospital due to the gunshot wounds he incurred when SWAT shot him), whose life was only saved when Lucas agreed to donate part of his liver.
Lizzie: A social worker at the hospital. Pregnant with Jeremy's child. Organized, with Egan, the hostages' weekly dinners, which help to keep them in contact. She's very afraid of Randall, but wants to face him for closure, and feels connected to her fellow hostages.
Nick: A divorced cop with a gambling problem. Wanted to go up against the police and FBI for their botching of the hostage situation, even in the face of blackmail, but backed down once they threatened his fellow hostages. Sometimes works with Kathryn, who is grateful to him for getting her mother released from the hostage situation. Was going to date Eva, before she died.
Kathryn: An assistant DA who is in a serious relationship with the actual DA. She's in a tough position with her boyfriend handling the robbers' prosecution, especially since she and the other hostages are apparently somewhat friendly with Lucas, one of the robbers. Nick had a plan with her to end the hostage situation, but the FBI supposedly screwed it up.
Egan: Tackled Randall to the ground as he was about to shoot at the SWAT team, and thus became a minor celebrity and got a new lease on life (he was going to kill himself before being taken hostage). This new lease led to getting fired from his job for trying to help people instead of the bottom line, and leaving his wife because he thought they were unhappy. He's crashing with Nick for now.
Malcolm: The bank manager. His wife is pressuring him to focus on his family more, but last night he went up against "corporate" to try and get them to offer more money to the dead security guard's widow in her lawsuit settlement by basically threatening to blackmail the bank with emails he had sent in the past requesting security upgrades which could have prevented the robbery.
Felicia: Malcolm's teenage daughter. She doesn't remember most of the traumatic hostage situation, although she feels connected to Lucas because she vaguely remembers he saved her from Randall. She hid during the beginning of the robbery, and got her cell phone to Lizzie, who called the police (which basically caused the standoff).
The man on the far right is Lucas. Right now in the current plotline, the case is about to go to trial. In the bank flashback, the police arrived during Randall and Lucas's getaway, forcing the robbers back into the bank with the hostages. We still don't know exactly what happened in the bank.
Let me know if you have any questions or if I missed anything (I'm sure I did), and for the love of God, start watching! Wednesdays at ten on ABC (after Lost). No excuses!
America's Next Top Model: Déjà Vu
Man, is it clip show time already? It feels like just yesterday Jay Manuel (the new host of Canada's Next Top Model) was calling Christian a "broke-down Tyra Banks," and Monique was being aggressively unsanitary.
So I have a confession to make: I watched 30 Rock instead of the first half of the clip show, because my dual tuner didn't want to work with me. Happily, 30 Rock was funny enough (love!) that I don't feel at all bad about it. But if I missed anything earth-shattering, scandalous, or at all hilarious, let me know in the comments.
On to the clip show. We learn that Monique was, in fact, crazy. And also über-annoying. She even played the copycat game with Melrose. You know, that thing your little brother bugged you with when he was, like, five? Sample dialogue:
Melrose: "You have serious problems."
Monique: "You have serious problems."
Melrose: "Go away and let me cook dinner!"
Monique: "Go away and let me cook dinner!"
Sadly, Melrose didn't try the old Calvin and Hobbes "I forfeit all my desserts for a week" trick. Better luck next time, Melrose.
Speaking of Melrose, the clip show went out of its way to remind me why I hated her in the first place. She made Anchal cry! Not cool, Melrose, even if Anchal is sometimes annoying. From now on, I will acknowledge Melrose's talent, but keep reminding myself what a bee-yatch she is.
Eugena also seems worse in clip form. Not extra-bitchy or anything, but fake and insincere. She'll smile, but with the Dead Eye. I guess it's a problem she has in person as well as in photos.
As a group, the girls come across as a little...less than sharp (Jade-style). In a previously unseen clip, Anchal calls Melrose out on making "quirky" remarks to everyone (by her tone and the context, she seems to mean hurtful or insulting remarks), and Melrose replies that she's not going to "accelerate" and change her personality. Huh?
In sadder insights, it seems as if A.J. was more ambivalent about staying in the house than we were originally shown. She comes across as very uncertain not only about modeling as a career, but even about her desire to remain in the competition. I am no longer outraged by her elimination, even though I do think she was one of the more talented girls.
Jaeda, on the other hand, actually moves up a little in my estimation when she does a hilarious impersonation of Tyra during a staged elimination ceremony with the other girls. She's spot on with the ridiculously clipped delivery and laughably serious facial expression. For the curious, in the fake ceremony it comes down to the twins, and Amanda is eliminated. Also, CariDee farts loudly during a dramatic pause in Jaeda's speech. It's funny.
The only other new information of interest that I saw in the clip show was that they showed all of Cathy Gould's (the director of Elite Model Management) statement about Anchal. Originally, they cut her as saying "Anchal does not have a typical runway body." In the new, extended clip, she actually says, "Anchal does not have a typical runway body, she has more of a swimsuit body." Hmmmmm. Interesting cut, producers.
And that's pretty much it for the clip show. Stay tuned for next week, when hopefully my wishes will be fulfilled and Jaeda will be kicked out, probably whining about her hair all the way home.
NBC Hates Television
It's finally happened. After hobbling around on a broken leg for a few weeks, Kidnapped has finally been taken out back and shot by NBC. The network claims that it's going to make the last batch of episodes available on its website, but after the treatment this show has received, I don't believe it. NBC shunts the show off to Saturday nights, cuts the episode order in half, and then pulls it off the air entirely because of poor ratings. Shenanigans! It's Saturday night; the ratings would never have been good enough for NBC. And making the (large) assumption that it'll stick with the reduced order of 13 episodes, that means that there are eight left, and I find it very hard to believe that NBC won't just give up after streaming one or two.
It's all well and good for NBC to put up the pretense that it cares about the show's few fans and that it's going to let them see how the mystery wraps up, but that's not how they really operate. It's ironic but true: NBC hates television. And if you're a Scrubs fan, you know I'm right.
So, because I firmly believe we'll never see the final episode, let's just pretend that it ends this way, because it probably would have: Atkins is the mole and Otto helps Leopold escape. Okay? Okay.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Boston Legal: Best Haunted House Ever!
Ah, Boston Legal. Pure twisted, quirky fun. Plus, stirring closing arguments for added measure! I only tuned in from time to time last season, but after watching more consistently this year, I'm totally hooked. Any show that would have a lead character's fiancé’s head end up in a haunted house is okay by me.
The incest thing last night was regrettable (although I love that actress! She was totally a stand-out guest star in the little people convention episode of CSI), especially given that yesterday was rather incest-heavy to begin with, but how much do I love Denny Crane? And Alan! What the hell is wrong with that guy, and why do I find it all so entertaining? More importantly, why on Earth wasn't I watching this show from the beginning?
I blame the fact that it was a Practice spin-off. They should have done a disclaimer in every ad for the show: "Yes, it's a Practice spin-off, but it doesn't take itself ridiculously seriously. Really! It's actually totally twisted! And William Shatner is GREAT in it!" Not too catchy, but persuasive, no?
Ah, well. I'm watching now. And if you want to add an hour-long show to your schedule that isn't a serial drama, makes you smile, and gets you wondering whether you may (like Denny) have Mad Cow Disease, you should watch it too! Added bonus: The theme song is great for dancing around in your living room. Not that I ever, ever would. (Again.)
House: Incest-o-Rama!
Okay, so was last night "Unintentional Incest Night," or something? First, we had the young husband and wife with improbably matching rare genetic disorders who - Surprise! - were actually half-brother and sister on House. Then, on Boston Legal, we find out that Denny's girlfriend is quite likely his daughter. Ew!
And can I just say that I love the new, back-talking Cameron? She definitely wins for Most Improved Character, and also provided the Quote of the Episode:
[House wonders why the pediatric nurse is hanging around their wing if she isn't dating Wilson]
Cameron: "Because I'm hitting that, and it's totally hot." Ha!
It's also really interesting to see Foreman in a relationship (yeah, he's actually hitting that). His character has always seemed the most cold and distanced to me, and I think an outside relationship would flesh him out a little more. And now that we know Foreman has a heart, and actually cares about his patients' feelings and such, he is solidly out of the running for assuming House's throne after House is shanked in prison while David Morse (new nemesis!) stands idly by. Better start practicing your insults now, Chase, so you'll be ready to step up when the time comes.
Can't wait for next week, when House is in prison! Anyone else thinks that Wilson will torch Cuddy's office or something, just so he can get arrested and bunk with House?
Veronica Mars: I Hope Next Week's Case is Finding Mac
Check out the new picture – now with significantly less smug! Sure, there's still some in there, but it's diffused by the group shot. And you get to see everyone, even the ones who are taking extra-long vacations (Mac). Seriously, show, what have you done with Tina Majorino? I demand proof of life, or at least proof of continued employment.
This week, Veronica's on the case of a Point Break-style robbery of the underground gambling club, the Venetian (no, it does not have a Phantom Spectacular). And if you think this is the sort of thing she wouldn't ordinarily care about, you'd be right. She only cares because her necklace, a gift from Lilly, was stolen in the robbery. She really, really likes that necklace. All the signs point to Weevil, but turns out it's the campus police. Veronica also makes a bit of headway in the rape mystery department: Claire doesn't recognize the guy in the ATM picture with her, but his roommate says that the guy is her boyfriend. Hmm, maybe my idea that the feminists are behind the whole thing isn't so crazy after all.
Keith's case centers around Dean Begley, Jr., his stepson, and his wife's ex-husband, who needs to donate bone marrow to said stepson to save his life. So of course Dean Begley, Jr. and his wife kidnap the ex to force him to give the marrow. That Dean Begley, Jr. is awfully shady. Maybe he's behind the rapes. Or maybe he and the feminists are in on it together! Oh, he's clever.
Wallace, meanwhile, cheats on a mechanical engineering exam and gets caught. That's what he gets for listening to his hammy friend. Take it down a notch, dude; this is not the Hornell community theater production of Deathtrap.
In awesome news: Lamb does the robot, Veronica has a one-geek fan club, and Cliff stops by. Hi, Cliff! Good to see you! Don't be a stranger like Mac!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Rock the HOUSE (Get it? Get it?)
To celebrate the long-awaited return of Hugh Laurie to my television (yeah, I missed his SNL appearance...rrgh), here's a clip of his band, Band From TV, playing at a post-Emmy party this year. For those unfamiliar with its genius, the band features Hugh Laurie on keyboard, James Denton on guitar, and Greg Grunberg on drums. The sound may be bad, and Greg Grunberg may be hard to spot, but the good Dr. House is up close and personal in some rockin' sunglasses. I assume Wilson is off-camera in the front row, screaming and throwing his bra onstage.
Heroes: Hero Fight
Happy Halloween! Before we start, a note on nicknames. We now know that Possible D.L. and Actual D.L. are not the same (thanks, sagejenn!), which means that the erstwhile Possible D.L. needs a new nickname. If you're a TWoP reader, you know that they call him Deep Cleaner over there, but I think I'll go with Blank Slate, because a) if he's not D.L., then we know nothing about him, and b) it's what he does. But he doesn't show up this week, so it's a cow's opinion anyway.
On to the heroics!
Hiro/Ando: They hear the message from the future, but the only bit that really makes an impression on Hiro is the sword. He's way into the katana, so I guess we know where that will come from. Anyway, the Rich Texan they cheated shows up again and forces them into a game to pay back what they owe. When Ando catches sight of a gun aimed at him, he flees with Hiro to the bathroom, and there the guys listen as Niki brutally murders the Rich Texan and his pals. Hiro's upset that he couldn't save them, but Ando bucks up the little camper by telling him he can come back and do a do-over when his powers get stronger. Yeah, but if Hiro starts bouncing all around the timeline, he's going to seriously mess up the mythology. Which may be what the writers want; if the fans really hate some plot point, the writers can have Hiro go back and make sure it never happened. Can they start with last week's Matt story?
Claire: Glasses Man wangles a meeting with her bio-rents, and Claire is disappointed to discover that they're not super. But they're also not her bio-rents, because Glasses Man hired them to get her to shut up about her real bio-rents! Mama Claire lets it slip that they tried looking for the bio-rents before, with no success, when Claire was a baby and they thought she had some chromosomal disease. The seeds of distrust have been sown. Also the seeds of love, because Claire and Zach flirt cutely. I do like Claire; I think she has the best balance between normal life and abnormal superhero life, so I always enjoy her scenes. Good thing they're going to save her, because if it was Peter, I really wouldn't care.
Niki/D.L.: D.L. tells us a story about how he was set up and sent off to prison by some mysterious woman (Niki), and that he's going to get the name (Niki) from some friends of his (the poker guys) and clear his name (except that Niki brutally kills them). Niki's mirror pal comes out of the mirror, admits to everything we already knew she did, and tells Niki proper to take the money she stole and run with Micah before D.L. finds out what she did. But Micah tells her secret, and so it's a full-on hero fight between D.L. and Evil Niki, ended only when D.L., with his Shadowcat powers, reaches up through her torso and chokes her. You'll notice that Micah is Niki's trigger – whenever anyone threatens to harm him or take him away, that's when Evil Niki takes over. And while I do find that a realistic (ahem) idea for a single mother, I wonder how long they can keep doing that sort of thing.
The Baddies: Props to all of you who figured that Mohinder's pixie-cut neighbor, "Eden," was in the League of Evil, because she totally is. After sending Mohinder off to India with quite a bit of her saliva, she gives Glasses Man a status report, including the whole "save the cheerleader" message. Glasses Man is thrown by this, but recovers enough to tell her to take Isaac out. I still can't figure out what his endgame is, and whether or not Claire has anything to do with it. Is he trying to keep her out of everything or is she just another experiment? Oh, Glasses Man, you are so bad. But you need a better lieutenant than "Eden." She's the Diet Coke of evil.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Studio 60: The End is Near? Maybe? Possibly?
Just days after NBC announced an order for additional episodes, people are sounding the death knell for Studio 60. The speculation, already reaching fever pitch online, is largely based upon a poorly-written Fox News column which says, "It's likely NBC will pull the plug shortly I am told by insiders." Oh, the anonymous source-ity and missing comma-ness of it all!
First off, I wouldn't necessarily consider Fox News a credible news source, doubly so when they're writing about something created by Aaron Sorkin, whom they have to be at least a little biased against. Although to be fair, when have we ever known Fox News to show bias? Secondly, if the show were already virtually cancelled, what's up with NBC ponying up for new episodes?
That said, I wouldn't be surprised if Studio 60 was deservedly put on hiatus during sweeps, or punted to a less fabulous timeslot (especially if Friday Night Lights does well in its place tonight). Last week's episode was not only bad, it was downright insulting. Plus, the show is incredibly expensive to make. Why would NBC keep a show on the air that's not really a success critically OR in the real world?
But the show has so much potential that I think it would be a mistake for NBC to pull the plug entirely without giving Aaron Sorkin a chance to shape things up, which I'm assuming is why they ordered the new episodes. Then, if the new scripts aren't up to snuff, it's time for Deal or No Deal II in the post-Heroes timeslot (God help us). Thus, I'm calling the funeral march (slightly) premature. Back to your stations, everyone!
Update - 10/31: NBC told MediaDaily News that Studio 60, while still being closely scrutinized, is NOT cancelled, contrary to what Fox News reported.
Desperate Housewives: Boozan!
Sex! Scandal! Murder! Booze (and along with it "Boozan," Susan's alter ego)! This week's Desperate Housewives had all of those tasty treats, plus Gabrielle in sexy lingerie (which I suppose counts as "sex," but was hot enough to be worthy of separate mention). It was the perfect mix of all the elements which make Desperate Housewives great, without being overwhelming, like last week's episode.
The ladies (sans recovering alcoholic Bree) spend some quality time together drinking on Lynette's porch and venting about their crazy lives. End result: Lynette realizes she needs to support Tom, Gabrielle confesses to the gals that she still loves Carlos, and Boozan drunkenly crashes Ian's party and admits that leaving him was a mistake.
Oh, and meanwhile, Bree finds out that Orson probably beat his last wife, who looked just like Bree, and Orson finds out that his friend (Roseanne's sister's husband, if you can follow that) was having an affair with Monique (the dead chick from the golf course, also a dead (ha!) ringer for Bree), whom Orson totally killed. Lots of great mystery development, in other words.
Oh, and was anyone else totally bummed that Lynette and Nora didn't get into a catfight? It was SO CLOSE! Ah, well...there's always next week. It also pains me to admit that Mike, confined to a hospital bed/wheelchair and basically emasculated by Edie, is getting less and less hot every week. Which I'm not sure I would have believed possible if I hadn't seen it with my own two disappointed eyes.
The Amazing Race: Should've Dug the Ditch Deeper
The teams are sent to Mauritius this week, but first they have to find it. Even though Mauritius is off the east coast of Africa, near enough to Kuwait, the teams are still sent through London, that being the quickest way to get there. Well, that's air travel for you. Dustin and Kandice insist that the ticketing guys are idiots for trying to send them on this route, even pulling out a map and showing them how silly it is. This tactic would be a lot more effective (but still annoying) if they hadn't just had to ask where London is. I weep for the state of education in this country. If any of you reading this can't find London on a map, please don't tell me, I don't want to know.
Once they get to Mauritius, the Chos insist on keeping their six-pack alliance. It seems like they spend half the episode waiting for the others, and they end up in fourth place when they could easily have been higher. Like I said last week, I don't think this alliance helps them at all, even though they claim that they're banking on the others' help down the line. This won't happen, because Lyn and Karlyn are far more opportunistic than the other two teams, and Mary and David just aren't going to last long enough, unless they throw themselves on Phil's mercy again (more on that later).
And now, my favorite part of the episode. When the teams get to the Detour, one that involves searching an island for a mast, the producers display a fiendish – and awesome – sense of humor. They've set a trap for the racers, a thick mat of straw covering a ditch, and half the teams fall into it before they reach the masts. Sadly, they all escape, meaning that CBS will have to get its CSI corpses somewhere else.
Dustin and Kandice, despite having hit a bus, hit the mat first and hit on Phil. Phil's only response is "Um," because he's married, and his wife knows where London is. Mary and David are last, and sad music plays, but it's all a psych-out, because it's another non-elimination leg. Yes, again. I'm telling you, Phil doesn't have the heart to eliminate them. Every time they come in last, he's just going to keep claiming it's non-elimination. It could get awkward after the fourth or fifth of those, but what do you want, people? Phil's not made of stone! I like them too, but they're working their third chance now, and I find myself thinking that eliminating them would be a mercy at this point. They're outgunned, and if the Chos weren't such nice guys, they would have no chance at all.
