Wednesday, June 13, 2007

On the Lot: Overcoming the boredom

It seems like most of America (aside from five or so apparently tasteless morons) has dealt with the immense boredom that is On the Lot by not watching it. Fair enough, America. I, on the other hand, have committed to watching this piece of garbage show for as long as possible. Thus, I will deal with the boredom by recapping through limerick. That's right, bitches--limerick. Here we go! First, the five films shown last night:

There once was an aspiring Scorsese
Whose music choice was pretty lazy
His talent was clear
Though it was no Cape Fear
But his main character was freaking crazy

There once was a random contender
Whose films I just could not remember
His nerds were too cute
Don’t give him the boot
Though his chances of winning seem slender

There once was a guy with bad hair
Whose films were more than I could bear
He thinks he’s so deep
Making all of us weep
How could he be so unaware?

There once was a braggart named Marty
Who thought he was so very arty
Thought his green film had style
It made no one smile
Now he could be leaving the party

There once was a talented dame
Whose son’s acting is no claim to fame
Her writing was funny
Films with sex make money
So she may be ahead of the game

In case you couldn't tell from my mad rhyming skillz, my favorites (in order) were Shira-Lee's Beeline and Andrew's Polished. My least favorites were Kenny's Edge on the End and Marty's Dance with the Devil. Moving on to the results...

There once was a chick with no class
Whose “comedies” really sucked ass
Her film was so crude
I actually booed
But America gave her a pass

There once was a cutie named Trever
Whose golf film was a little clever
He got voted out
Which just made me pout
Given Hilary’s awful endeavor

Yes, America kept the woman whose character peed on a bus (no, I can't get over it--and her last film was no great shakes, either), and eliminated the guy with a derivative but passable latest film and a legitimately decent comedy short. Sigh. Here's hoping that Kenny's angsty student film finally gets him booted next week!