The previews for this week's episode promised action, and it's action we got. Each new episode of Desperate Housewives this season seems to have more drama then the last, and tonight was no exception. Wisteria Lane's long-anticipated tornado finally hit, and it definitely did some damage. Though with destruction comes creation, and some surprising new relationships were also forged in the storm. Again, there was a lot going on tonight, so get hydrated and try to keep up!
Lynette: When the episode began, we were warned that by the end of the tornado, we would lose one husband and one friend. Was it wrong of me to sort of hope that the friend was Lynette? Her plots just reeeally haven't been doing it for me lately. At any rate, we don't lose Lynette so much as she possibly loses everyone else. After forcing herself and her family into Mrs. McCluskey's basement and releasing Ida's beloved cat into the tornado due to Tom's allergies (don't get me started), Lynette winds up waiting out the storm separately, in a bathtub with Mrs. McCluskey. When they get out after the storm, Mrs. McCluskey's house is totally destroyed. Hence the screaming we all saw in the previews. (And I have to say, I was sure that Mrs. McCluskey was going to die. They always seem to kill off Kathryn Joosten, don't they?)
Bree and Katherine: Wow. So let's see...Sylvia the Stalker apparently wasn't lying about the affair with Adam, which led to a nervous breakdown for her, a settled lawsuit for sexual harassment for him, and a much-needed fresh start in Fairfield for Katherine after she and Adam lost everything in Chicago due to the whole mess. Thus settling the Mystery of Chicago. And that is NOT something that Katherine would want to find out when trapped in a room with Adam, Bree, and Orson. Awk-ward! As for poor crazy Sylvia, she gets sucked out the front door and blown into the twister, flying cow-style. The upside: Katherine and Bree seem to emerge as friends, which should be an interesting alliance. Also? I would not want to be Adam right now. Katherine doesn't seem like the forgiving type.
Gabby: If you ask me, Gabby had the line of the season tonight. When Carlos questions her decision to pack a boa among the items she's taking to run away with him, she gives him the only possible Gabby-appropriate response: "Carlos, if you are taking me somewhere where I don't need a boa, then I don't want to go!" See, people? That's why we need writers! Of course, Edie manages to find out that Gabby and Carlos are running away, and gets ahold of the ONLY copies of the papers to allow Carlos to access his offshore accounts, leading to the riskiest catfight ever. I mean, not only are they fighting in a freaking tornado--they're fighting over a file full of papers in a freaking tornado! So yes, inevitably, the papers blow away. Less inevitably, Gabby and Edie end up waiting the storm out in a crawlspace, and actually kind of clear the air between them. Man, I was SURE that only one of those two was gonna make it out alive.
Meanwhile, Carlos finds Victor in their living room. With a gun. Craziest episode EVER, you guys! After a lovely speech about his and Gabby's eternal love, Carlos is forced to run into the tornado. Because, dangerous though high winds may be, they're preferable to gunfire. Victor follows, and they fight. In the tornado. Jesus Christ! (Incidentally, R.I.P. Ugly Gay Fountain.) And, in a violent (apparent) death so appropriate to picture-perfect Wisteria Lane, Victor is impaled by a flying piece of white picket fence, while Carlos is merely knocked out by debris.
Susan: Of all the drama tonight, this was the most upsetting storyline for me. After finding out that Orson knew of Mike's addiction before prescribing him the pills, Susan confronts him, and then Mike. Mike doesn't take it well, yelling for his pills back and only semi-accidentally pushing her down the stairs. Yikes. He does take her to the hospital, but gets so caught up in his guilt at pushing a pregnant lady down the stairs (um, YEAH, dude) that he gets into a fight with an orderly over getting her treated sooner, and winds up in cuffs. I'm glad the baby's fine, and that Susan got by with only a mildly sprained ankle (I can sympathize with that one, as a fellow sufferer these days), but that kind of violence is disturbing and unacceptable. Susan hands him an ultimatum after he starts eyeing the pain pills for her ankle. (Which I totally didn't get for a more severe sprain, so the doctors in Fairview are either pretty liberal with their medicating, or I'm really missing out right now.) He agrees to go into rehab rather than losing her and the baby. But dude, that is a scary situation.
In the aftermath, Mary Alice helpfully narrates that everyone learned a valuable lesson about friendship, forgiveness, redemption, and the fragility and unfairness of life. And, hopefully, that they should have basements or something if they live in a tornado-prone area. Because seriously? Crawlspaces and bathrooms don't really cut it. Sadly for us, tonight's drama will have to last us, because it'll be a while before we find out what happened to Lynette's family. We were promised two deaths: it seems clear that one was Victor, but the other wasn't obvious to me. And as far as I know, ABC hasn't scheduled the next episode's airtime yet. So sit tight, everyone, and try not to drown in replacement reality garbage!