Desperate Housewives: Secrets and Lies

Well, the theme of tonight's episode of Desperate Housewives was "deception," and while that certainly held true, it seems like "deception" could be the theme of every week's episode. Just sayin'. All in all, though, a very entertaining hour of television. And as you may know, Desperate Housewives ceased production last week, so enjoy the great new episodes while they last!

In tonight's most gripping plot, Gabby and Carlos killed Victor. Maybe. By accident. To be fair, if my hypothetical husband had recently found out I was cheating on him and then took me on a boat trip alone, from a deserted marina, and asked me not to tell anyone about it, I'd probably fear for my life, too. So that accounts for the first time Gabby knocked Victor off the boat. And the second time was even more justified--dude was totally crazy, and threatening Carlos with a knife! That said, setting his boat adrift and claiming Gabby wasn't ever on it may not have been the smartest route. I may watch a bit too much CSI, but it seems to me like it would be pretty easy to tell if Victor was really alone on that boat. And the picnic, for one thing, would certainly indicate otherwise. That said, I'm assuming (knowing this show) he's not really dead. So this should get pretty interesting, pretty fast.

On the Susan end of things, I'm just glad to find out that Mike's your basic pain pill addict, rather than popping mystery pills to curb his latent homicidal tendencies, as his father's comments suggested. I loved Bree's oxymoronic strategy for dealing with an addict: "Trust, but verify." And crazily enough, I actually believed Mike for a moment when he said that the pills were to help keep him working while injured to save money for the baby. He seemed so sincere, and upset! But then, I remembered what show we were talking about, and totally called that he was going to retrieve the "discarded" pills from the sink drain. I mean, he didn't even wash 'em down with water, or anything. DUH, Susan. Your husband's a plumber.

In an impressively uncomfortable conversation, even for a dinner party at Bree's house, Bree and Orson argue about circumcising their baby (who cries a ton and is thus bright red, incidentally) in front of Mike and Susan. Um, wow. It would be really, REALLY traumatic to remember one's own circumcision--that's totally rough. But it surprises me that Orson didn't look at his own situation and worry that the same thing could happen to his baby--namely, that Bree "I Hate All Things Unsightly" Hodges would wait until the coast was clear and then get the job done, regardless of the age of the child. Of course, Bree was far more efficient than that, and even managed to pass as a Jew in order to get her son a bris, thanks to a borrowed name from Fiddler on the Roof (awesome). I liked that it led to a heartfelt conversation about what it means to be family, versus a blood relative, to this child. Of course, the conversation came a little late for his penis.

I didn't love Lynette's plot as much, perhaps because it seemed superfluous with all the other excitement about town. However, it did feature the marvelous Sarah Paulson as one of Lynette's sisters, which was pretty awesome. I have to say, while I don't miss Studio 60 at all, I do miss Sarah Paulson. 30 Rock should totally recruit her. It would be such an easy transition! Aaanyway, all the fighting over who has to live with Lynette's awful mom got rather old, though I suppose it was nice that Lynette stood up for her mom in the end. Is anyone buying that the $10,000 her mom loaned Lynette was all the money she had left? Because I'm not sure I am.

Finally, after a week off, we got new developments in the Katherine/Dylan case. I loved that Dylan, after finding out about Katherine's (apparently fake) confession about abuse at the charades party, confronted Katherine with what may be the scariest words she'd ever heard: "I am officially no longer afraid of you." Of course, Katherine succeeds in making Dylan afraid FOR her, rather than afraid OF her, with a presumably fabricated tale about Dylan's dad almost killing Katherine the night she said she was leaving him. Thus, Katherine gets Dylan to stop trying to find out about him. No new clues on what he might have done, though.

Next week: A sweeps-driven tornado hits Wisteria Lane.