Emmy Awards: The Highs and the Lows

I'm bottling up my usual Emmy results-related volcano of rage, so that on the happy day when I somehow meet all the Emmy voters I can finally allow it to spew forth, burying them in hot, angry lava. Thus, I'm not going to express my opinion of the horrendously unjust results here. Instead, here are a few of the highlights and lowlights from tonight's ceremony, in semi-chronological order.

Highlight: The Green Emmys! (And Al Gore!)

Highlight (the corresponding Lowlight is a very orange Teri Hatcher, but I didn't want to subject you guys to that):












Highlight: Stewie and Brian from The Family Guy singing the opening number, inasmuch as it meant that Ryan Seacrest would not be singing the opening number.

Lowlight: The weird-ass, completely impractical "theatre in the round" gimmick.

Lowlight: Ray Freaking Romano. It's not standup, Ray, and nobody cares what you're up to anymore. NOBODY CARES!

Highlight: Katherine Heigl clearly saying "shit" in her winning reaction shot, but getting the bleep-out and the quick cutaway.

Highlight: Christina Aguilera singing her ass off on live TV just a week after Britney tanked at the VMA's. Oh, snap! (Corresponding lowlight: Mad lack of Britney appearance as rumored.)

Lowlight to the millionth power: All that miniseries crap (AKA, time for me to go do the dishes, fold my laundry, and take a not-so-short nap). Who the H-E-double hockey sticks watches those things, anyway?

Highlight-turned-lowlight: The cast of Jersey Boys singing "Walk Like a Man" to clips of the Sopranos was a cute sendoff. Then, they sang two or three more songs. Shit like that is why the winners of the night's biggest awards always get cut off, like, two words into their acceptance speeches.

Highlight: Elaine Stritch. Crazy, or crazy like a hilarious, hilarious fox? I think the latter.

Lowlight: Bizarre personal video player product placement stunt during the award for best comedy writing.

Lowlight: Ryan Seacrest in tights.

Highlight: John Stewart and Steven Colbert giving Ricky Gervais's Emmy away to Steve Carell.

Highlight: America Ferrera's perfectly poised - but appropriately emotional - acceptance speech. Love! Her!

UPDATE - Lowlight: Sally Field being censored when expressing an anti-war sentiment. You know you're on Fox when they not only cut away/bleep the mild expletive, but manage to cut out the entire thought, even to the point where I couldn't tell what she was talking about or why they were cutting away for so long during the broadcast, and only realized it was about the war when reading the news this morning.

That's it for this year's Emmys! A mixed bag, to be sure, although I can't help but think it would have been almost tolerable if all that miniseries/TV special business were excluded. Ah, well. Congratulations to 30 Rock (not that a Best Comedy Emmy saved Arrested Development in the end, but it can't hurt, right?), and to all the other deserving winners.