You know how sometimes, there's an episode of a show that makes you fall in love with the show all over again? Makes you remember why you fell in love in the first place? Makes you want free muffins for life? Well, tonight's episode of Scrubs was that episode. Chock full of hysterical jokes, a light touch on the drama, and more muffins than you can handle. (I feel like there's a dirty the Todd joke in there somewhere...)
So, shockingly enough, Dr. Cox and Turk are competitive, and like to obsess over their victories. Because, as JD confirms with Turk, that's what men and winners do, respectively. Furthering that rivalry along, Dr. Kelso has signed the hospital up for rateyourdoc.org, where patients can rate their doctors. Check it out--it's hilarious if you go to the doctors' descriptions (who knew that Dr. Beardface was Second Runner Up in the "Best Partial Beard" category at the 1983 Westerham Beard Festival?), and you can actually rate all the doctors! Dr. Jan Itor is winning, unsurprisingly. And it includes the premiere issue of The Janitorial! Anyway, Dr. Kelso thinks it will lead to better patient care, "and, if along the way, you all become paranoid and overly competitive...Happy Birthday to me!" (No, Happy Birthday to ME! On Saturday, but still!)
And yes, of course, Turk and Dr. Cox start bonding with patients to get good ratings. And by "bonding," I mean, "sucking up until they get rated." But, of course, JD the "sensy" is number one in the rankings. Obviously, Dr. Cox and Turk can't let that stand, so they get the Todd to tell his patients that his name is Dr. John Dorian. A harsh and brilliant strategy. JD gets pissed, but really shouldn't be surprised. We all remember the "I'm your beeyotch" episode, right? Featuring such classic competitions as "Steak"? Due to the fact that unicorns don't exist, the only thing Turk can do to make it up to him is to let JD win at basketball in front of the nurses, complete with yelling "White Lightning!" whenever he makes a basket. Oh, and he gets Kelso to fix the rankings.
In the meantime, the Janitor is completely smitten with his girlfriend, Lady. And his "smitten" voice is Southern, in case you were wondering. Carla wonders how Lady could be so into a guy so weird, leading Kelso to observe, "Well, I would say that love is blind, but we all know that isn’t true." Fair enough? His love for Enid, it seems, has dropped 136% since their wedding day, strictly correlated with her weight gain. Carla discovers that the Janitor's relationship is based up on his pretending to be normal, down to wearing khaki pants and an argyle sweater vest.
When she convinces him to stop lying about who he is (the Janitor's "sad" voice is more like a Dickinsonian orphan), he comes clean with Lady. Way, waaaay too clean. Which makes sense, since he's a janitor. (Rimshot!) Jumpsuit, taxidermy, crazy stories and beliefs...they come pouring out until Carla cuts him off, pretends to Lady that he was kidding, and teaches him the valuable "dole out the crazy in little pieces" lesson. Though when he tests the waters on the taxidermy thing, it's a no-go, so he keeps on pretending.
On the private practice end of things (Elliot's job, not the train wreck of a show), Elliot has a really cool patient with ALS, who completely reminds me of Chuck from Pushing Daisies. Elliot and Shannon are very friendly, and Elliot especially admires her attitude toward terminal illness. Shannon's even gone so far as to throw herself a funeral. In fact, she's accepted death so much that she's actually trying to kill herself. In a very nonchalant way. She wants to go out on her own terms, before she's completely paralyzed. This admission, however, puts Elliot in a bit of an ethical quandary. At which point she should realize that she can't be a good doctor AND a friend. JD warns her to protect herself, since she won't be able to handle the guilt if she lets Shannon kill herself, but Elliot decides to take the hit and keep Shannon's suicidal intent to herself. Oh, Elliot. You always manage to bring me down.
Odds and ends:
- How do you accidentally microwave a dirty diaper?
- The Todd pimps his own website, The Todd Time, out to female patients. And you guys, it's real, and it's fabulous. (Be sure to turn your speakers waaaaay up!) Though it's lacking in the promised "Tranny Todd" feature.
- Dr. Kelso is reading the last Harry Potter book, and draws Harry Potter glasses in permanent marker on the face of anyone who spoils anything for him. Which, in my opinion, is WAY too light a punishment.
All in all, this was definitely my favorite episode of the season so far. Fact: Any episode in which there are way too many hilarious jokes to write about in one blog entry is quality stuff.