CSI vs. Grey's Anatomy: Round One

The results are in from the season-long death match between CSI and Grey's Anatomy, and the winner is: CSI. CSI is the fourth-rated show of the year to Grey's seventh, and the only non-American Idol or Dancing with the Stars airing in the top five, but it still lost to Grey's Anatomy when the latter had a new episode. So how did it win the season? Repeats. And it's not like Grey's didn't have repeats all over the place this season. The fact is, everyone wants to know what's going to happen to the doctors in Seattle Grace – the relationships, the patients, the Sweeps Ferry Accident of Meredith's Doom and the subsequent Hospital of the Damned storyline – but it's all so utterly depressing and hopeless that no one wants to see it again. I know if I come across a Grey's repeat, I immediately think, "Oh, right, this is the one where Meredith/Cristina/Alex/George gets her/his heart stomped on," and then I don't feel the need to watch it anymore, because I could be watching something happier, like a murder mystery. Even the gruesome, frequently ironic deaths on CSI are preferable to watching characters I don't even like that much (but especially characters I do like) get emotionally beaten with a sand-filled sock. Again.

And yet – why can't I stop watching in the first place? Honestly, that show is like Pringles. You just can't stop yourself once you get going.