Grease - YTOTIW: Final 12ish!

Last night, Grease: You're the One That I Want had its first live show, where we got introduced to the final twelve fourteen potential Sandy’s and Danny’s and were forced to look at Olivia Newton-John’s extremely plastic face for two hours. Overall, I’m actually pretty impressed with the talent they found—is this what American Idol would be like if they brought in ringers?

Since I love me some judging and opinionating, here’s my breakdown on the final twelve fourteen:

Derek— This guy is SO my new secret boyfriend (even though, let’s face it, he’s probably gay). Billy Bush nicknamed him “Wholesome Danny,” but I definitely don’t see the wholesomeness. Derek, who sang “This Thing Called Love,” is super-hot (sort of a Stamos/Clooney combo), has a great voice and tons of stage presence/charisma, and can actually move well. Go, Derek!

Austin— I find Austin pretty creepy, and I don’t think it’s just because he stands out as the only blonde Danny, or because he’s 30 years old trying to pass for 18. And he’s definitely not “Hot Danny,” despite what Billy Bush may claim. However, Austin’s got a great voice (although not really shown off singing “Mony Mony”), and can certainly dance, so that’s something.

Allie— At 19, she’s the closest to Sandy’s intended age, earning her the moniker “Baby Sandy.” Unfortunately, Allie chose to sing “I Love Rock and Roll,” which, while a great song, didn’t show off her voice at all, especially in the low register she chose to sing it in. So…judgment reserved.

Kate— “Serious Sandy” sang “All by Myself,” which is a pretty intense song choice for the first live show. So props for that, and for the impressive voice. Despite the voice, she didn’t really blow me away, and I think it’s because she’s lacking in the stage presence department.

And now, for the lamest twist ever…they’re bringing back two eliminated contestants! Gasp!

The new Danny is Matt, the guy who got eliminated for having no experience and not enough talent. Come on, producers. He wasn’t even that good the first time! Bad dancer, average singer, total lack of charisma. Sigh. “Second Chance Danny” chose to sing “Pretty Woman”…in the character of a child molester scouting for new victims. Seriously, enough with the creepy mannerisms, dude! And he looked seriously uncomfortable up there, and can’t even hold his notes without breaking. I’ll just assume America will send him home this week, because he is SO not deserving of a third chance.

The new Sandy is Ashley A., the nervous crybaby who kept missing notes in the auditions. I can think of, like, a half-dozen eliminated girls who were WAY better than Ashley A., in every way except her perfect sweet Sandy look. And she was a total choker! Sigh. “Emotional Sandy” sang “Still the One” with a nervous, wavering voice. Just…not that good. Man. These second chance people were obviously cut for a reason, NBC. And now back to the people with an actual chance of winning…

Jason— He’s 31, which is a bit iffy, but totally mollified me by singing “Faith,” by George Michael. That song cracks me up every time I hear it. Love! Plus, “Boy Band Danny” is Mormon, which makes it all the more hilarious (I’m not sure why, but it totally does). He’s got a strong voice, although not as good as Austin and Derek, and good stage presence and movement.

Max—I hate to be mean (LIE), but Max is just not hot enough to be Danny. He seems like a nice, cool guy, but Danny needs to be a heartthrob. Otherwise the show just doesn’t make much sense. Sorry, Max. “Slacker Danny” sang “Summer of ’69,” and while he has a very good voice, he seemed awkward and trying-too-hard, like his movements were choreographed and unnatural. And he’s not too charismatic, either. And holy crap with the Britney Spears chest-shaking shimmy thing. Yeah.

Laura— She’s 21, engaged, and planning her wedding (BARF). “Small-Town Sandy” sang “Why Do Fools Fall in Love,” and, aside from the annoying fake-giggly thing, did a great job. She has a really beautiful voice.

Kathleen—She and her husband love going to church together, where she’s a “worship leader” (BARF). Hate to break it to you, Kathleen, but as I’ve told many an Amazing Race contestant, God doesn’t care if you win. “Spiritual Sandy” chose “Suddenly I See,” and actually did a pretty great job. She’s got a good voice, and really felt the song as she was singing it, if that makes sense. Good…emoting, I guess.

Kevin— “Bellhop Danny” (um, okay…) sang “Walkin’ in Memphis.” I love that song! So he gets mad points for the song choice, and for being a total cutie. Also for having a great voice and good charisma. Did they just stick all the average Danny’s in the middle of the show, and leave the best for the beginning and end? (Answer: Yes, and the Sandy’s too.)

Chad— For some reason, I don’t really like Chad. Yeah, he’s good, yeah, he seems likeable, but there’s just something about him that seems weird…oddly childlike or something. I dunno. He’s “Ambitious Danny,” and he sang “Signed, Sealed, Delivered.” He’s got a great voice, and seemed really excited, which is endearing, but got a little over-the-top at times.

Julianna— “Rock Chick Sandy” sang “The First Cut is the Deepest,” which may have been a bit too modern for this competition. She’s got a lovely voice, and a good personality, but doesn’t really seem like Sandy. And I don’t think it’s just ‘cause she’s a brunette, or sang a Sheryl Crow song.

Ashley S.— Let’s face it: There are a number of strong singers in this competition, any whom could sing a lead part in Grease. Logically, then, it should come down to acting and dancing ability, which I hope will be showcased in later episodes. And in Ashley S., we have an actual legit dancer. “Ballerina Sandy” sang “It’s in His Kiss,” and had a great stage presence, a strong voice, and is generally totally adorable. Go, Ashley S.!

And that’s all the contestants! David Ian has managed to steal my picks for Danny and Sandy (Derek and Ashley S.), so let it be known that I’m NOT copying, and that they were even my faves from last week. Now let’s hope we get to see some acting and dancing challenges in two weeks, so that we can stray further from the American Idol mold. Oh, and the special guest judge at that time will be...Andrew Lloyd Webber. Say it with me: BARF!