Heroes: Thank You, Sylar!

Okay, I feel like I should address this straight away, because NBC has been pimping it for a week – Simone is really dead. That undead sex kitten you saw in the previews? That's just Candace. She's a shapeshifter, and also a bitch. What? She totally is. Check it out: Mr. Bennet, happily, retains enough memories to know that he still loves Claire a whole lot, and remembers that he still wants to take down the Company. Woo! Go Mr. Bennet! Unfortunately, Candace makes him, posing as his wife (who, by the way, now knows all, and is much more awesome than I ever thought she would be, and I'm not just saying that because of the barking ringtone) to get him to incriminate himself. And then she taunts him, just as she does Matt and Isaac, the only other people she interacts with this hour. You know how the heroes either use their powers for good or for evil? Candace uses hers for smug.

Claire: She ditches the Haitian at the airport and heads off to New York City to find Peter, who, as she says, is the only person she can trust. Somewhere, Zach is clearing his throat and waving his arms, and doesn't know why. But when she makes it to Peter's apartment, she finds Mama Petrelli, who tells her she's her grandmother! And speaks French to the Haitian, who is also there somehow! Damn, does everyone know everything on this show? Mama Petrelli knows, Mr. Nakamura knows, Linderman knows – pretty soon everyone will know everyone else's business and there won't be any more shocking reveals. Not to mention there won't be anything left for Matt to do.

Hiro/Ando: Reunited, and it feels so good! Hiro, in the course of stealing the sword, winds up on the wrong end of Linderman's security, but fortunately for him (and us), the first security guy on the scene is our Ando! Hooray! And with a small town's worth of security guards now after them, the boys take their relationship to the next level - they teleport together, ending up in New York after the bomb.

Nathan: After reuniting with his pal Hiro, Flying Man heads to a meeting with Linderman, who is, as it turns out, A British Person. At first Nathan makes to shoot him, but the prospect of pot pie, and the vice presidency in two years, convinces him to take what Linderman offers him. That deal doesn't sound all that attractive to me, but I'm not a big fan of pot pie.

Mohinder/Sylar: I take back all the mean things I ever said about Mohinder when he drugs Sylar and jabs a giant needle into his spinal column. Unfortunately, I have to give them back when Sylar turns the tables. I mean, I knew he had to get free, but still – nice one, Mohinder. Mohinder ends up bloody and affixed to the ceiling when Peter shows up, and the big cliffhanger is: Sylar attacks Peter! And yet, we should all be giving Sylar a round of applause and buying him drinks, because he finally cuts off that damn lock of hair that's been all up in Peter's face for as long as we've known him. Well done, Sylar! Even a supervillain can do good sometimes.

Heroes returns April 23. Start the countdown!