The Amazing Race: Seriously, Don't Press Any Buttons

Damn it. I really wanted Danny and Oswald to win. They're so fun and easygoing, and even though they've gotten snippy with each other recently, they still have one of the healthiest relationships on this show, surpassing quite a few of the so-called romantically involved partners. Isn't it always the case that the friends and family members who race together are closer than the dating couples and, sometimes, the married ones? Danny and Oswald certainly conformed to this pattern, and I hope Danny wasn't kidding about the gay old folks' home, because that would be fantastic. So long, guys, and thanks for all the memories.

This week's theme, besides despair and heartbreak, is the U.S. military. The teams go to Guam, and all tasks they have to complete there are armed forces-related, from the dirty (cleaning a B-52) to the humanitarian (dropping supplies). Unfortunately, the warmth and fuzziness of the airdrop is tarnished slightly by Mirna, who is admonished by her military supervisor, the hard-nosed sergeant type, to put her supplies in the box with at least some degree of love. Ironically, this was indeed her chance to make love, not war, and she didn't do such a good job with it. I'm just saying, it's interesting.

The Roadblock, which takes place at the naval base on Guam, involves searching (for a pilot) and rescuing (yourself), and here is where I really started to enjoy myself. Because the teams have to follow a little GPS device to the pilot and to the landing zone, and some of the racers have serious problems with it. Charla, for example, is told at least three times not to press any buttons on her GPS device, but keeps doing it, and every time her military guide said, with barely concealed irritation, "Ma'am, I told you not to press the buttons," I laughed. But I also laughed when Oswald couldn't find his pilot when he was standing ten feet from him, lest you think that I was being mean. (I was, a little, but it was equal opportunity.)

And so now I am left with three teams I'm not particularly excited about. And just so I have some reason to be invested in the finale, I'm going to have to root for Dustin and Kandice, because I'd really like to see an all-female team win, and they have the best shot. They're efficient, they work well together, and they don't press any extraneous buttons. Go beauty queens!