Ugly Betty: I Hope You Wiped Your Hands

Based on the current weather patterns, chances are good that, as you are reading this, you are very cold. (I know I am. I live in the desert, and it currently feels like I never left the frozen wasteland of upstate New York.) Happily, you can bask in the warm glow of Christopher Gorham not only coming back, but being upped to a recurring cast member.

Thanks to some steamy dreams, a little adorable nerd flirting, and a horrifying vision of what her future could be like with Walter, Betty is starting to realize what all the rest of us knew from the moment Christopher Gorham appeared on our screens: Walter is a loser and Henry is love. Granted, she's still with Walter for the moment, and he did give her some nice presents, but he consulted with Daniel on those, and how much longer can this last with Gorham on the recurring list? Besides, Betty doesn't get sweaty palms around him. Did I mention that this week's theme is sweaty palms? Yeah, I know. Tell me it's a metaphor for love all you want, but it's still kinda gross and, frankly, I don't want to shake hands with you.

The other Modeians use the office Christmas party rather like a prom, as a time to come to Big Emotional Realizations. Daniel uses the sweaty palm test (ew) to determine that he really does love Sofia. Amanda, apparently having gotten the script for the Ugly Betty Christmas episode confused with that for The Family Stone, gets one of the engagement rings Daniel wants to give Sofia stuck on her finger. The sweaty palm test (as well as the getting the engagement ring stuck on her finger test) tells her that she's not over Daniel. Marc (who, thankfully, doesn't get a sweaty palm test) thinks he's going to die ever since he overheard Wilhelmina telling Fey that she would silence him and so he spends his last hours on earth wearing the world's most awful Christmas jacket. There's a fine line between "cutting-edge fashion" and "fugly," as America's Next Top Model proves with the start of each new cycle. Instead of a silenced shot in the back, Marc gets a Hummer. Some people would rather die.