24: You Can Always Put One Over on a Bauer Kid

This week is rather less exciting than you'd think, because one of the storylines is completely taken up by pouty Morris, who turns out to be an alcoholic. But that's not the worst part: Chloe is. She and Milo smell whisky on his breath, but she doesn't go to Buchanan and she doesn't take him off duty, and you just know it's all going to end in someone dying. I used to think it would be Morris, but now I think he's going to be responsible for someone's death out in the field for not analyzing data correctly or something. Also, the Extremely Shadowy Conspiracy finally, finally admits that their goal is to kill the president, and that they're going to pin it on Assad. Tom tries to sell them out, and Chad Lowe beats him with a flashlight. And that's all that happens on that front.

In the one tense plot this week, Josh is as dumb as Kim ever was, because he doesn't leave the moment he hears Grandpa threaten to kill him on the phone, while Grandpa's back is turned, and while Grandpa's attention is focused on his conversation. Instead, he waits until Grandpa is off the phone and can easily stop him. Stupid kid. Grandpa isn't that stupid, as we find out when Jack has exchanged himself for dumb Josh. Kneeling, waiting for Philip to execute him, he makes a heartfelt speech about how he never meant to disappoint Grandpa, but how he never felt he was good enough for him – and then Jack turns around and Philip is gone. That's really cold to do to your own son, but undeniably funny. But Philip leaves him a note to call a certain number, at which he finds – are you ready for this? I think you'd better get ready for this – Logan! Rocking an Al Gore beard! I love it when the prodigal evil returns! And I have high hopes that we'll see Martha again soon, since she seems to be what he's after. Hooray!