Tuesday, November 20, 2007

The Bachelor: The Most Dramatic Post-Finale Reunion Show EVER

Last night on The Bachelor: The Most Shocking Rose Ceremony Ever in the History of the Universe, which resulted in the WORST FINALE EVER. It was a total slap in the face for everyone who's been bothering to watch all season, and fairly cruel the way Brad led Jenni and DeAnna on. (And I'm not even going to get into the crazy rumors floating around about his ex-girlfriend.) Thus, I'm hoping that tonight's post-finale discussion will turn into a Brad Womack Beat-Down, the likes of which reality television has never seen before.

We begin, however, with "a little surprise." Apparently, former Bachelorians Trista and Ryan are making their first primetime appearance as a family (ah, the age-old rite), now that they have a little baby boy. The kid is cute, but I'm pretty much completely uninterested, given the drama that will hopefully be ensuing as soon as Brad, Jenni, and DeAnna head out on stage. Chris then trots out what may be the only other Bachelor "success story": Byron and Mary, from season 6. So...this is clearly ABC trying to prove that this show isn't a total fraud. I'm far from convinced. Two couples in eleven seasons (plus one season of The Bachelorette) is hardly something to crow about.

Moving on to the meat of the episode (13 minutes in), Jenni heads out on stage to chat with Chris. We confirm that she was stunned, crushed, devastated, etc. when Brad rejected her, before getting a montage of Jenni and Brad's greatest hits. Half of which we saw just last night. The audience, it should be noted, boos when they show the clip of Brad dumping her. Right on, audience. Right on. I mean, he obviously shouldn't have chosen to stay with Jenni if he wasn't feeling it, but he certainly could have avoided leading her on like that. And Jenni confirms that she felt a little misled.

Fascinatingly enough, Jenni thought that Brad was with DeAnna until she saw the finale last night. Wow. And it made her even sadder to discover that he didn't choose either of them. Of course, she points out what I've been wondering: Why not stay with one of them just to see how it works, rather than go all-out with a proposal? On a sadder note, Jenni's super-awesome grandmother passed away a couple weeks ago. We get a great montage, which is actually pretty sweet, and very sad. But not enough to distract me from how lame last night's finale was, ABC. Nice try.

Next up: DeAnna, who is still confused as to what the heck happened. ABC, helpfully trying to clear things up, shows us another painful montage. God, it's the worst. He completely made this girl think that he was going to propose. Why tell her that he just dumped Jenni? And even more so, why even sign up for this show if you're not the kind of guy who can fall in love at the drop of a hat? Brad was clearly the wrong kind of romantic for The Bachelor.

Back in the studio, DeAnna explains that it felt like she laid her heart out on the table for Brad, and he stabbed her right through it. She says she knew when he started pacing around during the rose ceremony that something was wrong, and is angry that she put so much of herself into their relationship without any reciprocation. Plus, there's the understandable confusion that he wasn't able to choose anyone (not even just to date), and the difficulty of living with that fact for the past two and a half months. She still has hope for their relationship, which is a bit sad. This whole thing is a bit sad, yo.

Chris confirms that this is the first time in the show's history in which the Bachelor chose no one, and Brad enters the stage to a solid mix of applause and boos. He claims to be more disappointed than anybody (unconvinced murmuring in the audience), and that his heart was also broken. He spouts some junk about DeAnna deserving more than somebody saying "let's see what happens," when he wasn't really in love with her. However, apparently the production company flew DeAnna's father out at Brad's request, because he wanted to talk to her father before proposing. Okay, so I guess it would have been DeAnna (called it!), though he says he knew when he was shopping for rings that it didn't feel right. In one fell swoop, he addresses and denies the rumors that he has kids, is gay, is dating, etc. He doesn't quite seem to be winning the audience over. And for good reason, the jerk.

Jenni heads out to chat with Brad, and it's uncomfortable. She asks him why he didn't want to take a chance on someone, which he hilariously answers by saying that he didn't want to take a chance when he had feelings for both of them, and didn't want to mislead. She basically calls it as a load of garbage, considering he really led them on throughout the show. So...he liked both of them...but neither of them enough? And so didn't choose anyone both because he couldn't choose between the two of them, and because he didn't want either of them? This is all kinds of ridiculous.

DeAnna joins Brad on stage next, and they share a hug before she sits down nervously. She starts off by asking him how he couldn't have chosen either of them, and totally calls him on leading her on, even telling her that the day of the rose ceremony would be "a good day." She refuses to believe that there was nothing there for Brad, and she's pretty freaking awesome, to tell you the truth. He admits to not being perfect, and says that he just couldn't stay with her at all without having the same feelings she had. He claims to be a romantic, and to be heartbroken, and it's pretty freaking obnoxious. I mean, figure out what you're going to do before you get the girl's hopes up, dude.

DeAnna really gets angry when he says he still thinks about her every day, and wonders why he'd say things like that and yet still walk away from her. He repeats that he still didn't feel like there was something between them, and DeAnna gets even more upset. He's basically just jerking her around, if you ask me, and poor DeAnna is completely confused and heartbroken. Especially since she clearly hoped he'd change her mind upon seeing her again. Brad is the WORST, you guys. The worst. I mean, Jesus Christ. He seems to think his choice was the noble one, but he's handling this terribly. He heads off to work on his "issues" before receiving the ass-kicking that I'd been hoping for, and Chris hauls out the successful Bachelor couples to rub them in Brad's and our faces.

It's been an...interesting...season, you guys! And according to Chris, The Bachelor will be back in the spring. And it'll be missing a number of viewers thanks to this debacle of a season, I'd imagine, including myself. Clearly, having the Most Dramatic Rose Ceremony Ever isn't necessarily a good thing. Ugh.