Veronica Mars: And Starring Patty Hearst As Herself

MacWatch '06 Update: Confirmed Mac sighting! She definitely appears in the previews for next week's episode. The drought is almost over! But first, this week's Macless episode.

File this under "Guest Stars You Never Thought You'd See": Patty Hearst on Veronica Mars. She plays a socially conscious Hearst heiress who gets kidnapped. Which must have been quite a challenge. Although, to be fair to her, she does a nice job. With some notable exceptions, you can always count on Veronica Mars to stunt cast people who can act. Patty's the swing vote on the board of trustees, who are deciding the fate of the Greeks, and everyone thinks that's why she's gone missing. In reality, her husband is blackmailing her to stay hidden until after their tenth anniversary so he can get half of her considerable wealth. Once the Marses spring her, she votes to abolish the Greeks. Expect to see Dick crying into his beer next week. Why, dude, why?

Case number two – uh, I mean, the other case – involves the president of the Pi Sigs found shaved and in his underpants, with an Easter egg where the sun don't shine. A scrap of paper in the egg points to the attempted suicide three years earlier of a Theta Beta pledge who was humiliated by the Pi Sigs. Because this pledge was Claire's best friend, Veronica realizes that this was Claire's motive for faking her rape, and then asks the question I've been asking for a while: were any of the rapes real? My guess is that Parker's was, but that it was a copycat crime, as Parker couldn't have been in on the Great Feminist Conspiracy.

And last week's attack has left Veronica jumpy, which would make sense, if it were anyone else. Veronica's been in the P.I. business for over two years, she's nearly been killed at least twice and raped once. She really should be inured to this sort of thing. However, she's not paranoid, because someone really is following her: the bodyguard that super-protective Logan hired to keep her safe. Veronica and Logan fight about it, and just as I'm yelling "Break UP!" at my television, they admit that they love each other. They say they love each other, but they still don't act like they even like each other. Oh, whatever. The CW women have never shown good judgment in boyfriends, so I don't know why I'm getting myself all worked up over this relationship.

Finally, a programming note. This being Thanksgiving and all, I will be away for all TV-blogging related purposes until Sunday. Happy Turkey/Tofurkey Day, depending on your personal preference. And to our Canadian reader, happy Thursday.